Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to TUESDAY MAY 19, 2020
THINKING OUT LOUD…
11) Lawyers wear law suits.
10) Next time you get a lawyer a drink, give him just-ice.
9) A lawyer using a facsimile machine must be sure to get his fax straight.
8) A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.
7) Does a lawyer representing an angry cow find just cause for sour milk in a dairy case?
6) A detective likes to have a brief case.
5) The detective who went to investigate a burned down post office figured that it must be blackmail.
4) There are many judges who would like to acquit smoking.
3) Old judges never die, they just slur their sentences.
2) A police dog is often the scenter of a drug arrest.

1) If there’s one person you don’t want to interrupt in the middle of a sentence, it’s a judge.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay inside, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! 
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day 
“You need to be careful when writing comments,” our principal told
the faculty. He held a report card for a Susan Crabbe. A colleague
had written, “Susan is beginning to come out of her shell.”

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There was a typo on a test I was taking. Instead of “(D)
none of the above,” it said “(D) one of the above.”
So I circled it.
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When I asked my friend if she was planning to attend church,
she just shook her head. “I haven’t gone in a long time,”
she said. “Besides, it’s too late for me. I’ve probably
already broken all seven commandments.”😳
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Jimmy: ‘Hey, Mike! How’s your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really
something special.’  Mike: ‘To tell the truth, I’m really disappointed in him.

The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.’
Jimmy: ‘What? Let me get this straight… You bought a fish because you thought
you could teach him to sing like a bird?’ Mike: ‘Well, yeah. After all, you know,
he’s a parrot fish.’ Jimmy: ‘Now listen, Mike, while you might be able to teach
a parrot to sing, you’re never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.’
Mike: ‘That’s what you think! It just so happens this fish CAN sing. The thing is,
he’s terribly off-key and it’s driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?’ 😱😎
 
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
“you are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity”
Answer:  Buzz Lightyear

Buzz (voiced by Tim Allen) is in denial and still believes that he is the real Buzz Lightyear, a space ranger who is the only one with the knowledge to foil Emperor Zurg when Woody (Tom Hanks) launches his tirade on him. Buzz’s response is beautifully crafted and delivered with an innocence you wouldn’t believe Buzz possessed. This goes to show that sarcasm, abusiveness or foul language is not a necessity to deliver a stinging verbal face slap. Woody’s final word, however, breaks the spell by coming straight out of a child’s playground; “Oh yeah, well, good riddance, ya loony.”
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
Ugarte: “You despise me, don’t you?”
Rick: “If I gave you any thought I probably would.”
 
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Monday’s Quizzler is….​
Use the syllables in the sylalist to complete the clues below. Each clue gives how many syllables the answer of it has. Can you complete every question?

Sylalist: al, ag, er, ful, ga, hope, ig, im, ine, ize, loo, rand, re, rus, sa, wal
1. Arctic marine mammal (2)
2. Eskimo Home (2)
3. Optimistic (2)
4. Understand Clearly (3)
5. Chore (2)
6. Suppose (3)
7. Long Narrative (2)
Answer:  1. Walrus (wal rus)

2. Igloo (ig loo)
3. Hopeful (hope ful)
4. Realize (re al ize)
5. Errand (er rand)
6. Imagine (im ag ine)

7. Saga (sa ga)

 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
​I may run rings around you

Or escape your clutching grip
Or leave a treacherous trail
That gives a sudden slip.
(If you’re not careful!)
You always end up winning,
While I shrink with each new meet:
Our bouts will be my ruin,
But you’ll come out smelling sweet.
What am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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