WELCOME to THURSDAY MAY 21, 2020
Pondering out Loud……..
Life is just a phase you’re going through…you’ll get over it.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
There is always one more idiot than you counted on.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than
going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize
a mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully.
Lord, if I can’t be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.
Discover Wildlife! Have Kids!
“Genuine Antique Person,” Been there, done that, can’t remember!
Our policy is to always blame the computer.
Take my advice, I’m not using it!
I love to give homemade gifts… umm, which one of the kids would you like?
By the time you find greener pastures, you can’t climb the fence!
I quit jogging for health reasons. My thighs rubbed together so much it caught my underwear on fire!
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
I was having some chest pains, but my cardiologist assured me
nothing was wrong. Then I told him I was planning a cruise to
Alaska and asked if he had any suggestions for avoiding the discomfort.
“Have fun,” he said with a straight face, “but don’t go overboard.”
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Most people would be angry if their company was bought and the
new owners replaced them with their own people. Not our neighbor
Andy. “You know how it goes,” he said, waxing philosophical.
“Every circus brings its own clowns.”
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Following a blowout shindig the night before, a co-worker was looking
the worse for wear. “Are you feeling all right?” I asked. “I don’t know,”
she answered slowly. “I think I’m suffering from post-partying depression.”
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“I found myself utterly depressed the other day and spent the entire
afternoon listening to Celine Dion records…at least that’s what I thought
I was doing. Turns out the cat had just fallen into the dryer and
was trying to get out.” –Julian Clary
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“He’s the kind of friend who will always be
there when he needs you.” –Adam Christing
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A parts manager for a small electronics shop, had occasion to order part No. 669 from the factory. But when he received it he noticed that someone had sent part No. 699 instead. Furious at the factory’s incompetence, he promptly sent the part
back along with a letter giving them a piece of his mind. Less than a week later, he received the same part back with a letter containing just four words: “TURN THE PART OVER.” 😱😁😎
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers,”
Answer: O Brother, Where Art Thou?
The line that precedes that statement goes: “That’s not the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi’s a little more hard-nosed.” By this time Clooney’s character had reached the end of his tether with the boys and the disguise on his contempt for them was starting to slip. “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” is a tightly written comedy that earned Joel and Ethan (Coen) an Oscar nomination for Best Writing and George Clooney a Golden Globe for Acting.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“We named the dog Indiana.”
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Mischievous Casey is delighted when people write her name incorrectly.
She sounds so sincere as she very carefully spells it out: “C for chaos,
A for arpeggio, S for scenery, E for empty, Y for ____.”
Which of the following words is she most likely to select to help with ‘Y’?
Young
Youth
Yacht
Yikes!
Yahoo!
Answer: Youth
All her choices of “helpful” words sound as if they begin with another letter – K-os, R-peggio, C-nery, M-pty … and so, U-th!
Although technically correct, it confuses people, and they often make mistakes!
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Georges, Patrick, Charlis, Samuel and Bruno are five Frenchmen. Georges knows English
and Chinese. Patrick knows Chinese and Japanese. Charlis knows Japanese and German.
Samuel knows German and English. Bruno knows them all: English, Chinese, Japanese and German.
In how many ways can they sit in a row, such that any two neighboring persons have no problems in communication?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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