Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to FRIDAY MAY 29, 2020
 
TOP BUMPER STICKERS…
* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog… Dorothy
* Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
* Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
* Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
* I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW..
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day 
“Father’s Day just keeps getting bigger
every year, thanks to DNA testing.”

– Jay Leno
____________________________________________
“The state legislature in Calif. is considering
a bill that would allow electronic advertisements on license
plates. I don’t need anything else to distract me while I’m texting.”
– Craig Ferguson
____________________________________________
“A company in California is coming out with
a $44,000 mattress. It will be layered with cashmere, mohair,
silk, and then on top of that, a moron who
paid $44,000 for a mattress.” – Jimmy Fallon
 
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
In one of K.C.’s classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of
the United States. It was pretty simple – the candidate must be a natural born citizen
of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on
how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen.  In short, her opinion
was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.  KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone’s jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, “What makes a natural born citizen  any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?” 😱😳😁😎
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
“There’s a price on your head.”

“How much?”
“One hundred gold pieces.”
“Is that all? I shall have to annoy the good Sheriff more. Soon it will be a thousand.”

“For a thousand I would turn you in myself.”

Answer:  Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

When Robin returns from the Crusades, he finds his father dead and his lands claimed by the Sheriff of Nottingham. He rallies the oppressed peasants together, and begins a resistance against the Sheriff’s greed. This exchange takes place between Robin and Maid Marian, shortly after he has been named an outlaw.
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“In any place where they fight, a man who knows how to drill men can always be a king. We will go to those parts, and say to any king we find, ‘D’you want to vanquish your foes?’ And we will show him how to drill men, for we know that better than anything else. Then we will subvert the king, and seize his throne, and establish a dynasty.”
 
 
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Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
oLr

elteltelteltelt
elteltelteltelt
elteltelteltelt
 
Answer:   Eleanor Roosevelt

‘L’ in ‘or’

rows of ‘elt’

 
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
​A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have the initial sounds switched to form new words.
For example, “churning bear” is a spoonerism for “burning chair” (note that the pairs do not
have to be spelled the same – only sound the same).
From the definitions below, can you figure out the spoonerism pairs?

1. Thumper’s cellphone…mis-named nerve.
2. Where to buy a mallard…jammed portal.
3. Grizzly relative…two pin-lovers.
4. Sad iguana…Merlin slam-dunking.

5. Wasp accelerates…Half a six-pack.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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