Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to WEDNESDAY JUNE 3, 2020
 
A Cowboy’s Guide to Life….
1. Never squat with yer spurs on.
2. Don’t worry about bitin’ off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think.
3. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
4. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
5. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
6. Never smack a man who’s chewin’ tobacco.
7. Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you’re out of good whiskey.
8. Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.
9. Always drink upstream from the herd.
10. If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
11. When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn their lesson.
12. When you’re throwin’ your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
13. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier ‘n puttin’ it back in.
14. Always take a good look at what you’re about to eat. It’s not so important to know what it is, but it’s critical to know what it was.
15. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL
WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day 
 How about some quotes from Albert Einstein?
“If we knew what it was we were doing, it
would not be called research, would it?”
____________________________________________________
“The must incomprehensible thing about
the universe is that it is comprehensible.”
____________________________________________________
“Anyone who has never made a mistake
has never tried anything new.”
____________________________________________________
Try not to become a man of success but
 rather try to become a man of value.
____________________________________________________
“Gravitation can not be held responsible
 for people falling in love.”
____________________________________________________
“You do not really understand something unless
you can explain it to your grandmother.”
____________________________________________________
“The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand.
The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull
the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angeles. The
wireless is the same, only without the cat.”
____________________________________________________
“When asked how World War III would be fought, Einstein
replied that he didn’t know. But he knew how World War IV
would be fought: With sticks and stones!”
____________________________________________________
“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems
like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems
 like a minute. THAT’S RELATIVITY.”
____________________________________________________
“Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.”
____________________________________________________
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity;
and I’m not sure about the universe.”
____________________________________________________
 
 
 
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked
around and couldn’t find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said,
“These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?” The produce guy looked at me and said, “No, sir, you’ll have to do that yourself.” 😁😎
 
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
“And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.”
Answer:  Legally Blonde

“Legally Blonde” is the story of Elle Woods, a sorority queen played by Reese Witherspoon, whose main interests lie in fashion. When her boyfriend dumps her for a classmate of his from Harvard Law School, Elle quits her fashion merchandising program to follow her beau to Harvard. First ridiculed by the others for her seeming air-headedness and naivete, she manages to win their respect by successfully defending a tough case during her internship and the movie ends with her being elected as class speaker and graduating with top honors.
The quote in the question was said by Elle while introducing herself on the first day of class.
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I’ve never had a Red Bull before
 
____________________________________________________ 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​

 The following are colloquialisms/idioms written in their literal form. Try to find all four.

Example: A Panthera Pardus is incapable of altering its texture. (A leopard can’t change its spots)
1. A colorless crystalline carbon existing within an uncouth environment.
2. Descending in the manner of the order of Diptera.
3. A late pop singer has departed from the premises.
4. To be delivered by metallic object that brings forth a great ringing noise.​
 
Answer:  1. A Diamond in the Rough–A term referring to someone with good character, but lacking social grace.

2. Dropping like flies–This means to lose attention or become bored easily. It can also mean for a large number of people to get sick very rapidly.
3. Elvis has left the building–It was an announcement made at the end of Elvis’ concerts to get fans to leave. It is now used when a major event has ended.
4. Saved by the bell–Now used when someone is in trouble, and is saved by an unrelated cause.
 
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….

The name GEORGe mIchAel has the state GEORGIA hidden inside it, in order from left to right. Can you find the states hidden in each of the following?

1. MUSTACHE
2. MAX STEINER
3. GEORGE HARRISON
4. THAT’S THE WAY IT IS
5. INTERDENOMINATIONAL
6. JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME
7. JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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