WELCOME to FRIDAY JUNE 5, 2020
“The Law of Volunteering”
If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
“The Law of Avoiding Oversell”
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
“The Law of Reality”
Never get into fights with ugly people. They have nothing to lose.
“The Law of Self Sacrifice”
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.
“Law of Probable Dispersal”
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
“Law of Volunteer Labor”
People are always available for work in the past tense.
In any organization there is one person who knows
what is going on. That person must be fired.
“Law of Cybernetic Entomology”
There is always one more bug.
The first myth of management is that it exists.
Variables won’t; constants aren’t.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
“Berg’s Second Law”
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,
then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
A child of five would understand this. Send
someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you
more than you love yourself. Josh Billings
A friend doesn’t go on a diet because
you are fat. Erma Bombeck
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can
always depend on the support of Paul. George Bernard Shaw
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with
the meter running. Groucho Marx
A James Cagney love scene is one where
he lets the other guy live. Bob Hope
A judge is a law student who marks his own
examination papers. H. L. Mencken
A lot of people are afraid of heights.
Not me, I’m afraid of widths. Steven Wright
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, “Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?” “I don’t know,” responded the other. “I’ll ask him.” So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. “Why are we digging in the hot sun and you’re standing in the shade?” “Intelligence,” the boss said. “What do you mean, intelligence’?” The boss said, “Well, I’ll show you. I’ll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can.” The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss’ hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, “That’s intelligence!” The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, “What did he say?”
“He said we are down here because of intelligence.” “What’s intelligence?” said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, “Take your shovel and hit my hand.” 😳😁😎
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“I think it pisses God off when you walk by the color purple in a field and don’t notice it.”
Answer: The Color Purple!
Steven Spielberg brought Alice Walker’s story about the life and trials of two black sisters growing up in rural Georgia in the 1930s to the screen in a big budget production that pleased many but couldn’t capture the full breadth and wonder of Alice Walker’s epistolary novel. The quote in question is said by Shug, played by Margaret Avery, to Celie, the protagonist of the movie, played by Whoopi Goldberg, while they are talking to each other about what they have gone through in their lives.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“I was born a poor black child”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Using only 3 straight lines, and without lifting your pencil, can you connect all the dots?
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Find an anagram for each word in Group A. Each anagram will answer one of the clues in Group B.
1. Singing voice
2. Golf clubs
4. Stringed instruments
5. Jointed device
6. Type of beaver
7. Americans overseas
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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