WELCOME to TUESDAY JUNE 9, 2020
A Mother’s dictionary…….
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.
Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.😁
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.😁
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.😱
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.😁
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.
Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine in words
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.😁
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
“People have been selling fake parking spaces. They charge people to
park in spots that they have no ownership of. Here’s a tip to avoid becoming
a victim of this fraud. If you find a parking space during the festival, it’s a scam.” -Jimmy Kimmel
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“A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at
higher risk of a stroke. So, that information should help you finally get some sleep.” -Seth Meyers
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“In the United Kingdom, a baby’s first word was ‘Alexa.’ The baby’s next
words were ‘Find me new parents.'” -Conan O’Brien
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
An influential Londoner wound up a business trip to the Orient with a visit to Taipei. At a luncheon he was asked
to say a few words. Since he spoke not a word of Chinese, his address was to be translated by an interpreter sentence
by sentence. “I want you to know,” he began, “I’m tickled to death to be asked here today.” A look of panicked confusion appeared on the interpreter’
s face. “This poor man,” he said in Chinese, “Scratches himself until he dies, only to be with you today.” 😱😳😁😎
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“Can’t make the scene if you don’t have the green”
Answer: The Mask
The quote is indeed from “The Mask”, the story of mild-mannered Stanley Ipkiss who transforms into a suave devil-may-care Casanova when he dons a bright green mask that fuses to his skin. The line in question is said by Carrey’s character when he robs a bank to get money to finance his expensive night life! Carrey also plays greenish characters in two of the movies mentioned in the incorrect possibilities: “The Grinch”, in which he plays the title role, and “Batman Forever”, in which he plays the Riddler. Only in “The Mask” do other characters also don the mask and turn green, however, so it is the one that best fits the description. Plus, the quote is from “The Mask”!
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“You take the blue pill — the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill — you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes”
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Monday’s Quizzler is….
In this teaser, I have given you 4 words. Beside each word are a series of letter groupings.
Your task is to find the answer to the word on the left by choosing one letter from each of the letter groups to the right of each clue.
Example:
Statuette: fro evi gse rpu lor nai ngd rep
Answer:
Fgo evI Gse rpU loR naI Ngd rEp = FIGURINE
Glasses: ads hjp jje loc tpp art chr awl deg shj
Canteen: cfg ahj fgf rte ttu ioe pro ioi ear
Drink: awq ghu dfa fgh fnq
Main road: hcv dif ggh jkh lwl iay try
Answer: Glasses: s p e c t a c l e s
Canteen: c a f e t e r i a
Drink: q u a f f
Main road: h i g h w a y
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Over a ten-year period, a truck was owned by 4 consecutive men, each a master of a different trade in a different city. From the following clues, identify the first and last names of the owners and the order in which they owned the truck. Also, each man’s trade, where he worked, and the duration that he owned the truck.
1. Mike owned the truck for 3 years.
2. The plumber bought the truck new.
3. Smith did not work in Newark.
4. The fourth man owned the truck for the least amount of time, and was not the electrician.
5. The third owner’s last name was Jones.
6. Joe worked in Chicago. He sold the truck to the man who owned it for 4 years.
7. Tom, the painter, did not work in Boston.
8. Pat’s last name is Reilly.
9. The mason from New York sold the truck to Kelly.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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