Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY JUNE 11, 2020

Chevy Nova Awards….

These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award. This is given in honor of the GM’s fiasco in trying to market this car in Central and South America. “No va” means, in Spanish, “No go.”

1. The Dairy Association’s huge success with the campaign “Got Milk?” prompted them to

expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention

the Spanish translation read “Are you lactating?”

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2. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue,

the name of a notorious adult magazine.

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3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market

which promoted the Pope’s visit. Instead of “I saw the Pope” (el Papa),

the shirts read “I Saw the Potato” (la papa).

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4. Pepsi’s “Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation” translated into

“Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave” in Chinese.

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5. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as “Kekoukela”, meaning

“Bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax”, depending on the dialect.

Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent “kokou kole”,

translating into “happiness in the mouth.”

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6. Frank Perdue’s chicken slogan, “It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken”

was translated into Spanish as “it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate.”

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7. When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the

Mexican market, it translated its “Fly In Leather” campaign literally, which meant

“Fly Naked” (vuela en cuero) in Spanish!

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Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT

THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!

Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

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Quotes of the Day

“A woman in Colorado gave birth in the bathroom

of a Starbucks. The baby was huge — I’m sorry, venti.”

– Jimmy Fallon

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“Brewers in Austria have created a cheese-infused

beer. Didn’t that used to be called ‘vomit’?” – Jay Leno

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“Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was

using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.” – Steven Wright

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“The first time I came in contact with a reef shark,

I was terrified. Let’s just say, I wouldn’t want to be the guy

wearing the wetsuit after me.” -Craig Ferguson

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“A couple of days ago, there were UFO sightings in New Jersey.

But don’t worry, it’s not an invasion — they were

just looking for a place to dump a body.” -David Letterman

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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….

No one is more cautious than a first-time parent. After our daughter was

big enough to ride on the back of my bicycle, I bought a special carrier

with a seat belt and got her a little helmet. The day of the first ride I put

her in the seat, double-checked all the equipment, wheeled the bike to

the end of the driveway, carefully looked both ways and, swinging my
leg up over the crossbar, accidentally kicked her right in the chin. 😱😳😁😎

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”

Soylent Green is people!!!

Answer: Soylent Green

The line was said by a horrified Charlton Heston, as the New York Police Detective who realized that the drug was not made of plankton at all, but was made from dead humans. Though the special effects in the movie can’t hold a shine to those possible in today’s movies, the sinister score and the acting by a solid cast of classic-era actors makes it a good one to check out.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????

“Pepperland is a tickle of joy on the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched”?

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is….

Five parents pick up their children at the Parkway Elementary School every Tuesday to bring the kids to their after-school activity. Five children all attended a different after school activity and their parents always arrive at different times (between 3:00 pm and 3:30 pm).

Child’s name: Colleen, Donald, Josh, Margie, and Mary

Parent’s name: Ann, Capri, Kathy, David and Lynne

Last Name: Dobson, Holden, Johnson, Steinway, and Walsh

Times picked up: 3:00, 3:10, 3:20, 3:25, and 3:30

Activities: ballet, chess, fencing, football, and hiking.

Determine each child’s full name, the first name of the parent picking them up (all the parents’ last names are the same as their child’s), the time each was picked up, and the activity each child is being brought to.

1. Margie’s best friend’s mother, Mrs. Dobson, arrived before Kathy came to pick up her son. Mrs. Walsh picked up her daughter for fencing.

2. Josh Steinway loved football as much as Donald liked chess and they both liked being the last two to be picked up.

3. David Holden picked up his daughter for her hiking as soon as he could, but Lynne was always there before he was.

4. Margie liked being the first one picked up but she didn’t take ballet or hiking.

5. Lynne’s daughter was not Margie.

6. In order of their departure from school: Ann, the girl who took ballet, Mary Holden, the boy who took football, and Capri Johnson.

Answer: Colleen Dobson: Lynne, 3:10, ballet
Donald Johnson: Capri, 3:30, chess
Josh Steinway: Kathy, 3:25, football
Margie Walsh: Ann, 3:00 pm, fencing
Mary Holden: David, 3:20 pm, hiking

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….

In a small cottage near the woods, five kittens were born. Their names were Purry, Whiskers, Mewler, Kiki, and Cayli. They each had different fur patterns, a certain favorite treat, and a secret hideout. There was a calico cat, a Siamese cat, a gray tabby cat, a black cat, and an orange cat. The foods they liked were one of the following: salmon, tuna, chicken, turkey, or shrimp. The places that they went to hide were the front porch, the forest, the roof, under the table, and behind the couch.

1. The kitten who often explored in the forest had a coat which allowed him to blend in with the shadows.
2. Purry liked to spy on the black cat from her secret hideout. She had a great view because of the height she had to climb to get to her hideout.
3. The two cats who liked fish liked to stay indoors. The two cats who liked poultry wanted to go outside but were afraid of the forest.
4. Cayli loved being outdoors, but she didn’t want to go too far away. She thought that Kiki and the Siamese cat were missing out on the sunlight.
5. Whiskers couldn’t stand the stench of shrimp and tuna.
6. The kitten with gray stripes bragged that she was the closest to the sun, but the orange cat believed that her spot allowed her to get plenty of sunlight.
7. Whenever the aroma of turkey reached her, Purry would quickly climb down and go back inside to get some.
8. The Siamese cat loved the fish that began with the same letter as his breed, and he would always sleep right beneath where this delicious fish was served.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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