WELCOME to TUESDAY JUNE 23, 2020
Deep Thoughts…..
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, I hope they
don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.
I’d rather be rich than stupid.
I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all
got a complimentary bumper sticker that read, “I helped skin Bob.”
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don’t want
anybody walking in and lying down in some crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, “What was THAT?!”
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.
Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won’t bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it would be like ambition.
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
Steven Wright…….
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a
rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
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I had a dream that all the victims of The Pill
came back… Boy, were they mad!
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The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them
whenever I can. Fred, Barney…
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I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and
act like I’m in a submarine that’s been hit.
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It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is,
it’s always room temperature.
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I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his
keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
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I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for
reading. So, I got some flip-up contact lenses.
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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo.
He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
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I filled out an application that said, “In Case Of Emergency
Notify”. I wrote “Doctor”… What’s my mother going to do?
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved
to the point where it was thought he might be released. The head of the institution, in a
fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first. “Tell me,” said he,
“if we release you, as we are considering doing, what do you intend to do with your life?’
The inmate said, “It would be wonderful to get back to real life and if I do, I will certainly
The inmate said, “It would be wonderful to get back to real life and if I do, I will certainly
refrain from making my former mistake. I was a nuclear physicist, you know, and it was
the stress of my work in weapons research that helped put me here. If I am released, I
shall confine myself to work in pure theory, where I trust the situation will be less difficult and stressful.” “Marvelous,” said the head of the institution. “Or else,” ruminated the inmate. “I might teach. There is something to be said for spending one’s life in bringing up a new generation of scientists.” “Absolutely,” said the head. “Then again, I might write. There is considerable need for books on science for the general public. Or I might even write a novel based on my experiences in this fine institution.” “An interesting possibility,” said the head. “And finally, if none of these things appeals to me, I can always continue to be a teakettle.”😱😳😁😎
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
‘Come on… Come on! Do it! Do it! Come on. Come on! Kill me! I’m here! Kill me! I’m here! Kill me! Come on! Kill me! I’m here! Come on! Do it now! Kill me!’
Answer: Predator!
Near the end of the movie, Dutch (Arnold Schwarzenegger) was trying to lure the predator into a trap and he yelled at the creature. The man who played the predator (Kevin Peter Hall), also played the chopper pilot that flew Dutch away at the end of the movie.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
‘Oh, I’ve chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!’ ‘This is blasphemy! This is madness!’
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Monday’s Quizzler is….
A group of four brothers did travel the land,
with only one steed shared among the whole band.
Though always surefooted, no matter the weather,
their mount would go lame if they didn’t ride together.
When one of the brothers was thrown and misplaced,
he was left where he lay and was quickly replaced.
When the ride became old and the brothers not needed,
to a game for all ages they simply retreated.
When many a player would fling them about,
and ringing a post was the victory shout.
Name us.
Answer: Horseshoes
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
I am used to bat with, yet I never get a hit.
I am near a ball, yet I am never thrown.
What am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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