Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to WEDNESDAY JUNE 24, 2020
  
25 Phrases of Wisdom………..  
1. If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness
of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three
weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL
WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day 
Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard.”

– Daphne du Maurier
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“Adventure is just bad planning.”
– Roald Amundsen
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“Truth has beauty, power and necessity.”
– Sylvia Ashton-Warner
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“When the Pope met the Queen of England, they both said the
same thing to each other: ‘Nice hat.'” -Jay Leno
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“Grandparents complain that their families don’t call them.

But in their defense, a lot of the time that people call,

grandparents answer the blender.” -Craig Ferguson

 
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
We were four frugal young teachers. But a couple times a year we treated ourselves to
the best Manhattan had to offer. As we approached the famous restaurant Lutece, we
questioned whether we were dressed perfectly. Could we pass as urban sophisticates?
The maitre d’ met us at the door, all smiles and bows. When he took my raincoat, I began
to look over the cozy little bar and anticipate the charming basket of pastry that was our appetizer. Then the maitre d’ returned to our group, gingerly holding a fabric softener sheet that had fallen from my coat sleeve. “Madam,” he said, “Your Bounce.” 😁 
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
‘Oh, I’ve chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!’ ‘This is blasphemy! This is madness!’

Answer:   300! 

Don’t stand too close to the edge of the well if you are the messenger facing the King (Gerard Butler). The king kicked the messenger into the well after he had threatened the King, insulted the Queen (Lena Headey), and suggested slavery for all Spartans. ‘300’ was released in 2006 and was about 300 Spartans fighting to their death against thousands of Persians in 480 BC at Thermopylae.
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
Look, you fool. You’re in danger. Can’t you see? They’re after you. They’re after all of us. Our wives, our children, everyone. They’re here already. You’re next!’
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Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
I am used to bat with, yet I never get a hit.

I am near a ball, yet I am never thrown.

What am I?

Answer:  Your Eyelashes! 
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
A shipment of butterflies was mixed up by the dock workers, and they could not find who bought which species, where it was from, and what was the price. All the workers know is that Alejandro, Faye, Yvette, Sophie, and Zachary could have each bought butterfly’s that cost $60, $75, $90, $105, or $120. Each could have bought the Clearwing, the Emperor, the Grayling, the Swallowtail, or the Torturix butterflies. Each butterfly could have lived in Australia, Jordan, Luxembourg, Panama, or Qatar. It is up to you to find out who bought which butterfly, what was the price, and where did it come from with the provided clues:

1. Neither the butterfly from Luxembourg nor the one from Australia sold for $90.
2. The Emperor butterfly cost $30 more than the Torturix butterfly.
3. Zachary’s purchase was $75.
4. The butterfly from Australia cost less than the one from Luxembourg.
5. Alejandro’s purchase was from Luxembourg.
6. Of Yvette’s purchase and the purchase for $60, one was from Qatar and the other was the Torturix.
7. The butterfly that sold for $120 was not from Panama.
8. The insect from Australia was not the Torturix.
9. Faye bought the Torturix.
10. Sophie did not buy the Grayling.
11. Of the Emperor and the insect worth $105, one was won by Yvette and the other was from Luxembourg.

12. The insect that sold for $105 was the Swallowtail.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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