WELCOME to THURSDAY JUNE 25, 2020
Doesn’t It Annoy You When…
…there’s a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and the owner is nowhere to be found?
…you buy an answering machine so you won’t miss any calls, and then everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer?
…there’s a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to drive 10-15 mph slower than the speed limit?
…you’re reading a magazine and all those annoying little subscription cards keep falling out?
…you tell someone that a door is locked and they try to open it anyway, like it’ll magically open for them and not you.
…someone says, “well, to make a long story short” and then they go on telling it for another 15 minutes.
…a friend or family member says “Yuck! This is awful!!” and then tells you to try some.
…you have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you’re just looking around.
…you rub on hand cream and can’t turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
…a waiter or waitress is not around at any time other than right after you put food in your mouth.
…your tire gauge lets half the air in your tire when all you want is a pressure reading.
…there’s a dog in your neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
…the power goes out, and you discover every flashlight you have has dead batteries.
…someone gets in the express lane at the supermarket and writes a check or uses a credit card.
…the elevator stops at every floor and nobody gets on.
…you almost ALWAYS back up your computer files but the week you don’t, your hard drive crashes and you lose everything.
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
Woody Allen Quotes
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve
immortality through not dying.
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When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
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I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
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What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream? Or what’s worse,
what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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I am an only child. I have one sister.
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I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam:
I looked into the soul of another boy.
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When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their
Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.” “Hans Olaffsen?”, he muses. “How in hell does that fit in here?” So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, “How did this place get a name like ‘Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'” The old man answers, “Is name of owner.” The tourist asks, “Well, who and where is the owner?” “Me…is right here,” replies the old man. “You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?” “Is simple,” says the old man. “Many, many years ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man, in front was big blonde Swede.
Lady look at him and go, ‘What your name?’ He says, ‘Hans Olaffsen.’ Then she looks at me and go, ‘What your name?'” “I say Sem Ting.” 😱😳😁😎
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
Look, you fool. You’re in danger. Can’t you see? They’re after you. They’re after all of us. Our wives, our children, everyone. They’re here already. You’re next!’
Answer: Invasion Of The Body Snatchers
This quote was from the 1956 version that starred Kevin McCarthy. The basic story has been told many times but the old one is great.
One by one, people started acting strange, very subdued and not affected by much of anything. McCarthy and his girlfriend (Dana Wynter) figured out that when people fell asleep, a huge pod started to grow and soon resembled the sleeping person. If a person slept long enough, the human died and the pod became that person. Wynter fell asleep and woke to warn others about McCarthy. He ran into traffic, screamed the lines above and tried to hitch a ride on a truck. As he lifted the canvas cover to climb in, he saw that the truck was full of pods.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
‘I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps.’ ‘He was drafted.’
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
A shipment of butterflies was mixed up by the dock workers, and they could not find who bought which species, where it was from, and what was the price. All the workers know is that Alejandro, Faye, Yvette, Sophie, and Zachary could have each bought butterfly’s that cost $60, $75, $90, $105, or $120. Each could have bought the Clearwing, the Emperor, the Grayling, the Swallowtail, or the Torturix butterflies. Each butterfly could have lived in Australia, Jordan, Luxembourg, Panama, or Qatar. It is up to you to find out who bought which butterfly, what was the price, and where did it come from with the provided clues:
1. Neither the butterfly from Luxembourg nor the one from Australia sold for $90.
2. The Emperor butterfly cost $30 more than the Torturix butterfly.
3. Zachary’s purchase was $75.
4. The butterfly from Australia cost less than the one from Luxembourg.
5. Alejandro’s purchase was from Luxembourg.
6. Of Yvette’s purchase and the purchase for $60, one was from Qatar and the other was the Torturix.
7. The butterfly that sold for $120 was not from Panama.
8. The insect from Australia was not the Torturix.
9. Faye bought the Torturix.
10. Sophie did not buy the Grayling.
11. Of the Emperor and the insect worth $105, one was won by Yvette and the other was from Luxembourg.
12. The insect that sold for $105 was the Swallowtail.
Answer: Faye bought the Torturix from Panama for $60.
Zachary bought the Grayling from Australia for $75.
Yvette bought the Emperor from Qatar for $90.
Alejandro bought the Swallowtail from Luxembourg for $105.
Sophie bought the Clearwing from Jordan for $120.
Zachary bought the Grayling from Australia for $75.
Yvette bought the Emperor from Qatar for $90.
Alejandro bought the Swallowtail from Luxembourg for $105.
Sophie bought the Clearwing from Jordan for $120.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Below are ten clues, each of which relates to the first line of a different Christmas carol or song. Unlike the title of the teaser, these clues only have the first letters of each of the words.
Can you figure out what songs they are?
1. CROAOF
2. IDOAWC
3. RTRNRHAVSN
4. GGROBAR
5. IHABCWY
6. ISMKSC
7. OTFDOCMTLGTM
8. FTSWAJHS
9. IBMBOJHSSOM
10. JBJBJBR
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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