Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to FRIDAY JUNE 26, 2020
 
Dictionary of Evaluation Comments…………

Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those
glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
AVERAGE: Not too bright.
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date.
ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily.
ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated.
CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law.
UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement.
QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors.
TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited.
TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks for superiors.
INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION: Knows more than superiors.
STERN DISCIPLINARIAN: A real jerk.
TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut.
APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to do the job.
A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.
NOT A DESK PERSON: Did not go to college.
EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together.
SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life.
CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared.
METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker.
DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice.
JUDGEMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky.
MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE: A snob.
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes.
STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES: Stubborn.
GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE: A coward.
SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE: Stupid.
OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION: Turns in work on time.
IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL: Wanted by no-one else.
ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS: An office gossip.
REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT: Lazy and hard-headed.
HARD WORKER: Usually does it the hard way.
ENJOYS JOB: Needs more to do.
HAPPY: Paid too much.
WELL ORGANIZED: Does too much busywork.
COMPETENT: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN: Annoying.
WILL GO FAR: Relative of management.
SHOULD GO FAR: Please.
USES TIME EFFECTIVELY: Clock watcher.
VERY CREATIVE: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
USES RESOURCES WELL: Delegates everything.
DESERVES PROMOTION: Create new title to make h/h feel appreciated.
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
_________________________________
Quotes of the Day 
After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire

asked, “What steps would have prevented you from leaving?”
My answer: “Birth control.”
_________________________________
If the left side of your brain controls the right side of
your body, then only left-handed people are in their right
mind.
_________________________________
“There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad
in the best of us, that it ill behooves any of us to find

fault with the rest of us.” –James Truslow Adams

_________________________________
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
My dear friend, a divorcee, never remarried, and her daughter wanted to know why.
“The men I know would bring too much heavy baggage to the marriage and I simply
don’t want to put up with it,” she explained. Taking her mother’s hand in hers, my friend’s daughter said sweetly, “I hate to break the news to you, Mom, but you’re not exactly carry-on yourself.” 😁😎
 
_________________________________
 
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
 ‘I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps.’ ‘He was drafted.’

Answer:  MASH

Major Margaret ‘Hot Lips’ O’Houlihan (Sally Kellerman) was talking about Captain Benjamin Franklin ‘Hawkeye’ Pierce (Donald Sutherland) and asked the question in the quote above of Father Francis Mulcahy (Rene Auberjonois). She was the butt of several jokes throughout the movie and was usually mad at Hawkeye and Trapper John – Captain John McIntyre (Elliott Gould).
If you got this question wrong or have never seen ‘MASH’, please rent the movie. It is a modern classic with one great quote after another. It was released in 1970, directed by Robert Altman, and in addition to those above, also starred Tom Skerritt, Robert Duvall, and Gary Burghoff.

It was the day to day story of a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital and sparked a TV series of the same name that ran for eleven years.

 
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
‘I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don’t Know. I Don’t Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play.’
_________________________________
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Below are ten clues, each of which relates to the first line of a different Christmas carol or song. Unlike the title of the teaser, these clues only have the first letters of each of the words.

Can you figure out what songs they are?
1. CROAOF
2. IDOAWC
3. RTRNRHAVSN
4. GGROBAR
5. IHABCWY
6. ISMKSC
7. OTFDOCMTLGTM
8. FTSWAJHS
9. IBMBOJHSSOM

10. JBJBJBR

Answer:  1. A Christmas Song (Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…)

2. White Christmas (I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…)
3. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose…)
4. Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer (Grandma got run over by a reindeer…)
5. Blue Christmas (I’ll have a blue Christmas without you…)
6. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus…)
7. The 12 Days of Christmas (On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…)
8. Frosty, the Snowman (Frosty, the snowman, was a jolly, happy soul…)
9. I’m Gettin’ Nothin’ for Christmas (I broke my bat on Johnny’s head, somebody snitched on me…)

10. Jingle Bell Rock (Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock…)

 
 
 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
An anagram is a word or phrase formed by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. For example, rearrange “none” to get “neon”.

It is not considered an anagram if you exchange a letter with the same letter. For example, switching the n’s with each other in “noun” does not give an anagram.
Even though a word is not considered an anagram of itself, your task is to find a word that is an anagram of itself. If you can do the seemingly impossible once, you might as well find a second word that is an anagram of itself.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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