WELCOME to MONDAY JUNE 29, 2020
Laws of Household Physics………..
Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as every other law in the universe? Here are a few examples:
1. A child’s eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to the ability to actually do the work involved.
2. Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one.
3. A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window.
4. The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to how badly it is needed.
5. The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage.
6. Three children plus two cookies equals a fight.
7. The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote controls divided by the number of viewers.
8. The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature.
9. The capacity of any hot water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers.
10. What goes up must come down, except for bubble gum, kites and slightly used Rice Krispies.
11. Place two children in a room full of toys and they will both want to play with the same toy.
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
MONDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
“New York’s State Assembly is considering a new bill that would legalize
alcoholic ice cream. ‘That’s great news,’ said a five-year-old having a
rough day. ‘Just a little something to take the edge off, Ma.'” -Seth Meyers
“Starbucks just announced that they’re closing 150 stores due to low
sales. Meanwhile, the Starbucks inside Barnes & Noble was like,
‘Shhh – I think they forgot about us.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“In Virginia recently, a computer crash wiped out a decade’s worth of
U.S. military data. However, this morning, the Chinese government
called and said no problem, we backed it up.” -Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim,
but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old
beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,”Are there any gators around
here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” “Feeling safe,
the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked
the guy,”How’d you get rid of the gators?” “We didn’t do nothin’,
” the beachcomber said. “The sharks got ’em.” 😱😳😁😎
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
‘I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to
What. What throws it to I Don’t Know. I Don’t Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play.’
Answer: Abbott and Costello
I’ve ended with a classic called ‘Who’s On First’ by the unforgettable comic duo of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. This skit was from the 1945 movie ‘The Naughty Nineties’. Abbott was performing in a baseball uniform on a riverboat stage during the gay 90s. Costello was pretending to sell peanuts to the audience and interrupted Abbott. The entire skit ran about six minutes in length.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“No! No! No! It’s not supposed to happen this way! I’m supposed to go first. I’ve always been ready to go first! I-I don’t think I can take this”?
Friday’s Quizzler is….
An anagram is a word or phrase formed by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. For example, rearrange “none” to get “neon”.
It is not considered an anagram if you exchange a letter with the same letter. For example, switching the n’s with each other in “noun” does not give an anagram.
Even though a word is not considered an anagram of itself, your task is to find a word that is an anagram of itself. If you can do the seemingly impossible once, you might as well find a second word that is an anagram of itself.
Answer: Both “stifle” and “filets” are anagrams of “itself”.
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
In the paragraph below, each blank must be filled by a five-letter word, and the words are all anagrams of each
other (the words all contain the same five letters, in different order). Can you fill in the blanks?
Quaint _____ this hotel supplies,
That don’t appear upon the bill.
I speak of roaches, _____, and flies.
You _____ and slap. They’re with you still.
At _____ each guest _____ pained screams
That ought to plague the owner’s dreams.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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