WELCOME to WEDNESDAY JULY 1, 2020
The Funny Side of Marriage…………….
One woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied,
“Well, yes, but I married the wrong man.”
Getting married is very much like going out to a
restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then
when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you
had ordered that.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his
bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s.
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts
of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries
her? Dad: That happens in most countries, son.
A man once said, “I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; and then it was too late.”
A man took out a classified ad saying “Wife wanted”.
The next day he received a hundred responses saying “You
can have mine.”
Some men define marriage as a very expensive way to get
your laundry done free.
And some learn that the most effective way to remember
your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you
know that either the wife is new – or the car is.
Husband: “You know, I was a fool when I married you.”
Wife: “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t care!”
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL
WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something
that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo ingles.”
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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don’t have the film.
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Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had
years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet,
make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever
spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all
nervous and give the wrong answers.
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife
you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Noah was told that of all the animals on the ark, only the adders refused to obey God’s command and go forth and multiply. “Well,” said Noah. “I’ll have to ask the Lord what to do about that.” And so he prayed to God and said, “These snakes won’t go forth and multiply” And God said, “Don’t worry. Find some the trees and saw them into logs and create a platform sitting upon four legs. Then put the snakes on the platform.” “But how will that help the snakes?” asked Noah. “Easy,” replied God, “Everyone knows even adders can multiply using a log table!” 😳😁😎
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“I want to tell you a story. I’m going to ask you all to close your eyes while I tell you the story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves”.
Answer: A Time to Kill
The above-mentioned quote is the opening of the final summation given by Jake Brigance during Carl Hailey’s trial. The tear that Matthew McConaughey shed during the final summation wasn’t in the script. The speech that Jake Brigance gave toward the end of the movie was given by a female jury member in the book, “A Time to Kill”. This was John Grisham’s first book, but the fourth movie made from one of his books.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Would you be willin’ to trade all the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back
here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!”
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Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Which word from Group B belongs in Group A?
GROUP A
Clipper
Caviler
Pacer
Maverick
GROUP B
Heat
Suns
Trailblazer
Jazz
Pelican
Answer: Trailblazers
Each word in Group A is both the name of an NBA basketball team as well as a model of vehicle:
Los Angeles Clipper/Packard Clipper (1941-1957)
Cleveland Cavaliers /Chevrolet Cavalier (1982-2005)
Indiana Pacers/AMC Pacer (1975-1980)
Dallas Mavericks/Ford Maverick (1970-1977)
Portland Trailblazers/Chevrolet TrailBlazer (2000-2008)
Each word in Group A is both the name of an NBA basketball team as well as a model of vehicle:
Los Angeles Clipper/Packard Clipper (1941-1957)
Cleveland Cavaliers /Chevrolet Cavalier (1982-2005)
Indiana Pacers/AMC Pacer (1975-1980)
Dallas Mavericks/Ford Maverick (1970-1977)
Portland Trailblazers/Chevrolet TrailBlazer (2000-2008)
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Jack, of Beanstalk fame, had been given some colored beans. He shared them out among his friends and they planted them. What color bean was each given, what color beanstalk grew from each bean and how tall did they grow?
No beanstalk’s colors included the bean’s color from which it grew.
Humpty was impressed with his multi colored beanstalk (not grown from an orange bean) that grew taller than Bo Peep’s beanstalk by at least a meter
The beanstalk grown from the orange bean grew exactly twice as tall as the bean that Goldilocks planted.
The 2 meter tall beanstalk was grown from either a green or a blue bean.
The red bean grew into a beanstalk containing green.
The green bean grew into a taller beanstalk than the beanstalk grown from the blue bean.
The red and blue spotted beanstalk grew to exactly 2.5metres in height.
Jack Spratt’s beanstalk, much to his delight, was multi colored.
Miss Muffett’s beanstalk had red and orange stripes; it did not grow from a yellow bean.
Names: Bo Peep, Goldilocks, Humpty, Jack Spratt, Miss Muffett
Bean Color: Blue, Green, Orange, Red, Yellow
Beanstalk Color: Blue & Green, Green & Orange, Red & Blue, Red & Orange, Yellow
Height: 1mtr, 2mtr, 2.5mtr, 3mtr, 4mtr
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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