Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to THURSDAY JULY 9, 2020
Today we take a serious look at Miscellaneous terms……..
Arbitrator \ar’-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.
Avoidable \uh-voy’-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Baloney \buh-lo’-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.
Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.
Burglarize \bur’-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.
Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
Eclipse \e-klips’\: What an English barber does for a living.
Eyedropper \i’-drop-ur\: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Heroes \hee’-rhos\: What a guy in a boat does.
Left Bank \left’ bangk’\: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Misty \mis’-tee\: How golfers create divots.
Paradox \par’-uh-doks\: Two physicians.
Parasites \par’-uh-sites\: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Pharmacist \farm’-uh-sist\: A helper on the farm.

Polarize \po’-lur-ize\: What penguins see with.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
_________________________________________
Quotes of the Day 
 
 “One of the 33 Chilean miners revealed that they all

joked about cannibalism while they were trapped. He
was like, ‘If you don’t believe me, ask the 34th guy —
I mean… never mind’.”
– Jimmy Fallon
_________________________________________
“Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.”
– Groucho Marx
_________________________________________
“A man thinks that by mouthing hard words he understands
hard things.” – Herman Melville
_________________________________________
The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of hope
over experience. The third marriage is the triumph of
stupidity.
_________________________________________
One of the most successful inventors of all time was the man
who invented the hay-bailing machine. Needless to say, he
made a bundle.
_________________________________________
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. “I feel terrible,” he explained. “I accidently hit this rabbit and killed it.”  The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 feet, turned, waved, and hopped another 50 feet. The man was astonished. He couldn’t figure out what substance could be in the woman’s spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, ” What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?” The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: “‘Hare Spray’ Restores Life to Dead Hare. Adds Permanent Wave.” 😁😎
_________________________________________
 
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” 
 “You ask me if I have a God complex. Let me tell you something. I AM GOD”.

Answer: “Malice” 

While speaking to a medical panel at the hospital, Dr. Jed Hill told the panel, “You ask me if I have a God complex. Let me tell you something. I AM GOD”.
Alec Baldwin played Dr. Joe Hill, a doctor who changed the lives of Nicole Kidman and Bill Pullman’s characters forever.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Do you know anyone that wouldn’t turn you in for two million dollars? I don’t think you do. I doubt it. So wherever you go and whatever you do,
this money will be tracking you down for all time”.
_________________________________________
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
Spring is here! All the gardens on Hilldale Avenue are ablaze with color from flowering bulbs. The five gardens are each filled with different flowers. Alice and her neighbors, including Taylor, planted their bulbs at different times last summer and fall. From the following clues, can you determine each neighbor’s first and last name, type of bulbs in each garden, each neighbor’s address and when their bulbs were planted?

First names: Alice, Bob, Carl, Denise, Evelyn
Last names: Stewart, Taylor, Upland, Vickers, Wilson
Addresses: 23, 24, 25, 26, 27
Bulbs: Tulips, Daffodils, Crocus, Snowdrops, Hyacinths
Planting Dates: Aug.30, Sept.10, Sept.26, Oct.2, Oct.31
1. The 5 neighbors are Carl, the daffodil lady, Stewart, the neighbor who always plants last, and the one who resides at number 24.
2. Ms. Wilson returned from her vacation on the last day of September, just in time to plant her bulbs at number 23 Hilldale Avenue.
3. Vickers planted her bulbs after number 27 but long before the crocus went into the ground.
4. Denise always plants her bulbs, which have an initial letter that is the same as the initial of her last name, on the date that corresponds with her address.
5. Mr. Taylor gave out Halloween goodies for “Trick or Treat” on the same day that he planted his crocus bulbs.

6. Alice Vickers dislikes the smell of hyacinths.

Answer:  Alice Vickers, Tulips, Sept.10, No. 24

Bob Taylor, Crocus, Oct.31, No.25
Carl Upland, Hyacinths, Aug.30, No.27
Denise Stewart, Snowdrops, Sept.26, No. 26

Evelyn Wilson, Daffodils, Oct.2, No.23 

 
 
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Can you decipher this:

issues
issues
issues
issues
issues
issues
issues
issues
issues
issues
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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