WELCOME to FRIDAY JULY 24, 2020
Old Age….
OLD CREDIT CARDS never die, they just expire
OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get bowled over
OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get smashed for six
OLD DANCERS never die, they just step away
OLD DAREDEVILS never die, they just get discouraged
OLD DEANS never die, they just lose their faculties
OLD DENTISTS never die, they just lose their pull
OLD DIETERS never die, they just waist away
OLD DIVERS never die, they just extend their bottom time
OLD DIVERS never die, they just flop
OLD DIVERS never die, they just get board
OLD DIVERS never die, they just lose their spring
OLD DOCTORS never die, they just lose their patience
OLD EDITORS do it with a red pen
OLD ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS never die, they just have slower rise times
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
Steven Wright…….
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his
friends went to the funeral in one car.
How young can you die of old age?
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.
On the other hand… You have different fingers.
I can levitate birds. No one cares.
Women… Can’t live with ’em… Can’t shoot ’em.
If all the nations in the world are in debt,
where did all the money go?
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon, it was to be different. Trousers’ owners were walking him along a trail at the park, when suddenly from out of the bushes jumped a man all dressed in black. He had white paint on his face, and was gesturing annoyingly at Trousers masters. This strange person spoke not a word, but proceeded to pretend that he was trapped in a box and that he was pulling on a long rope. Seeing the sheer horror
on his masters’ faces, Trouser took it upon himself to rectify the situation. With a low growl he jumped and sank his teeth into this annoying pseudo clown’s leg. Trouser immediately got a sickened look in his eyes and began to vomit wildly. He then dragged his tongue all over the ground in an effort to remove the man’s foul essence from his mouth. For Trouser had learned that …. a mime is a terrible thing to taste. 😱😳😁😎
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.”
Answer: ‘Dracula’
This quote is number 83 on AFI’s list of 100 most memorable.
When Renfield (Dwight Frye) arrives at Dracula’s (Bela Lugosi) castle, the Count says, “I am Dracula. I bid you welcome.” He then hears wolves howling and says “Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.” This should have been Renfield’s first clue to get the heck out of there but that isn’t the way the 1931 film was shot.
Another great quote from Dracula is, “I never drink… wine.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.”
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Thursday’s Quizzler is….
The Situation:
There is an island with 10 inhabitants. One day a monster comes and says that he intends to eat every one of them but will give them a chance to survive in the following way:
In the morning, the monster will line up all the people – single file so that the last person sees the remaining 9, the next person sees the remaining 8, and so on until the first person that obviously sees no one in front of himself. The monster will then place black or white hats on their heads randomly (they can be all white, all black or any combination thereof).
The monster will offer each person starting with the last one (who sees everyone else’s hats) to guess the color of his/her own hat. The answer can only be one word: “white” or “black”. The monster will eat him on the spot if he guessed wrong, and will leave him alive if he guessed right. All the remaining people will hear both the guess and the outcome of the guess. The monster will then go on to the next to last person (who only sees 8 people), and so on until the end.
The monster gives them the whole night to think.
The Task:
Devise the optimal strategy that these poor natives could use to maximize their survival rate.
Assumptions:
1) All the 10 people can easily understand your strategy, and will execute it with perfect precision.
2) If the monster suspects that any of the people are giving away information to any of the remaining team members by intonation of words when answering, or any other signs, or by touch, he will eat everyone.
3) The only allowed response is a short, unemotional “white” or “black”.
4) Having said that, I will add that you can put any value you like into each of these words. For example, “white” can mean “my mother did my laundry” and “black” can mean the guy in front of me is wearing a black hat.
Answer: Here it is: The first guy to guess (guy #10) will be the only one to assume the following value for the words “white” and “black”: The answer “black” will mean that there are an odd number of black hats that he sees. The answer “white” will mean that there are an odd number of white hats that he sees. This way one by one all the other 9 people will know the color of their hats.
Let us say that guy #10 (first to speak, and sees the hats of the remaining 9) says “white”. That should mean to everybody else that he sees an odd number of white hats. At this time guy #9 will either be wearing a white or a black hat. If he is wearing a white hat he will only see an even number of white hats, and since guy #10 said that there is and odd number of white hats, guy #9 will know that he is wearing white and will say it. But if guy #9 is wearing a black hat, he will see an odd number of white hats (just like #10 did), and thus will know that he is wearing a black hat and will say it. No matter what #9 answers, guy #8 (who heard guy #10 and guy #9) can now easily incorporate the color of hat on guy #9 into the original answer of guy #10. This will allow #8 to know if he should see an odd or even number of white hats in front of him to determine his own hat color. The same thing repeats with #7-1. And they all get it right except of course #10, though he may get lucky.
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
You are given five words and five definitions. Each of the words can be anagrammed into a two word phrase that fits one of the definitions. Your task is to assign each definition to its corresponding word. Example – cobalt: to hit a feline in a high arc (cat lob).
Words: archery, cavalier, foresight, tourniquet, watercress
Definitions:
an equine donated as a present
covert military conflicts
newton-meter or pound-foot
to perceive a wail
volcanic grain
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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