WELCOME to TUESDAY JULY 28, 2020
Here’s the Story……
There was this guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine who was very pretty
and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started.
Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite besotted
with her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too. But
this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn’t get involved with Clearly while he was still
going out with Lorraine. He decided that there was nothing for it but to break up with
her and get it on with the new girl. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he
couldn’t bring himself to do it. One day they went for a walk along the river bank when
Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned.
The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing:
“I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone”
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
“The FDA says it will limit the amount of pain reliever found in Vicodin.
Which explains my new substitute for Vicodin: two Vicodin.” – Jimmy Fallon
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A mission statement is defined as “a long, awkward sentence
that demonstrates management’s inability to think clearly.”
All good companies have one.
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If it weren’t for the fact that the TV and the refrigerator
are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.
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“Inside every older person is a younger person — wondering
what the hell happened.” –Cora Harvey Armstrong
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A computer programmer, bored with his job, decided to start his own business. Wanting
to do something totally different from his current occupation, he bought a mating pair of rheas and a large tract of land. His rhea farm was soon doing a booming business as there appeared to be a great demand for the birds. Not being satisfied with just selling the birds, the rhea farmer started researching how the birds were being used. He found that all parts of the birds were being utilized, except the feathers. Nobody wanted the plainly colored rhea feathers.
The ex-programmer, now rhea farmer, purchased some equipment, technical people, and chemicals, and was soon selling fancy, colored rhea feathers. The resulting sales were amazing and made the new feather merchant very happy. There was one small problem. The workers making the colored feathers were becoming quite ill. The concerned young man called in a number of doctors to determine
the nature of the illness. It was discovered that without exception,
the workers had developed a severe case of … “dye a rhea 😱😳😁😎
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“There’s only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures and the Dutch.”
Answer: “Goldmember” (2002)
Austin Powers finds his father, the master spy Nigel Powers, who has been kidnapped by you know who. Thwarting
Evil’s scheme to take over the world, he also finds that he and Dr. Evil are actually brothers.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“You’re leaving? Can’t you see that’s the last act of a desperate man?” “We don’t care if it’s the first act of Henry the Fifth. We’re leaving!”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
Each group of definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing. The length of the words in each group is provided.
1) a small bundle & a pointed stake for a fence & a small isolated area or group (6 letters)
2) to express in words & not freshly made & to look fixedly at something (5 letters)
3) a dance that conveys a story & a makeshift bed & a hammer-like implement (6 letters)
4) a local branch of a society & a mercantile lease of a ship & to talk incessantly (7 letters)
Answer: 1) packet, picket, pocket
2) state, stale, stare
3) ballet, pallet, mallet
4) chapter, charter, chatter
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
There was a death on Treebark Ln. The victim was identified as Mark Oswalt, who recently was married. The police went to the crime scene and they reported the death as a suicide.
Later that day, after the police left, a private detective, hired by the victim’s friend who thought it was a murder, searched the crime scene and found a note the police missed.
It read,
“4,3: 8,1:_: 9,1: 2,1: 7,4:_: 6,1:9,3:_: 9,1: 4,3: 3,3: 3,2: !”
The detective took out his cell phone and started dialing the police to tell them about his findings. Once the detective opened the phone to dial, he immediately screamed out, “I SOLVED IT!”
Who was the murderer and how did the detective find out?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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