WELCOME to THURSDAY JULY 30, 2020
Here’s the Story…..
The big chess tournament was taking place at the Plaza in New York. After the
first day’s competition, many of the winners were sitting around in the foyer of
the hotel talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play.
After a few drinks they started getting louder and louder until finally, the desk
clerk couldn’t take any more and kicked them out.
The next morning the Manager called the clerk into his office and told him there
had been many complaints about his being so rude to the hotel guests….instead
of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy. The clerk
responded, “I’m sorry, but if there’s one thing I can’t stand,
it’s chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL
THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
“Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go
insane.”- Philip K. Dick
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“Convinced myself, I seek not to convince.” – Edgar Allan Poe
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“A week has no basis in nature, as do days, months and years. So birds don’t understand
weeks or weekdays. They do know enough to come back to the sidewalk cafe every day for crumbs. But suppose the cafe is in the business district and closed on weekends? What do the birds think of that? I’ll bet they’re really glad when Monday rolls around.
Unlike the rest of us.” –George Carlin
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“Why is New Jersey called the Garden State? Cause it’s too
hard to fit ‘Oil and Petro-Refinery State’ on a
license plate.” –Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality
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“Someone has said that there are only two kinds of people in
the world—- There are those who wake up in the morning and
say, “Good Morning, Lord,” and there are those who wake up
in the morning and say, “Good Lord, it’s morning.” –Unknown
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Queen Nyteshade had two claims to fame. She could tell fortunes and she was a midget.
The local authorities frowned on her because they thought that fortune telling was fraudulent. They had Queeny arrested. She was placed in a holding cell. Since she was so small she was able to squeeze between the bars of her cell and escape. This to incensed the judge that he ordered the local newspaper to print an article about the culprit. The following was printed in the paper the next day. Small medium at large. 😳😁😎
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“You’re leaving? Can’t you see that’s the last act of a desperate man?” “We don’t care if it’s the first act of Henry the Fifth. We’re leaving!”
Answer: “Blazing Saddles”, (1974)
Bart Johnson (Cleavon Little) has been appointed Sheriff to protect the western town. Hedley Lamarr (Harvey Korman) is the villain trying to destroy the town and acquire all the land, as the railroad is coming through and, well, the plot has been done a thousand times, but never in a funnier way. The quote, which I found so silly as to be extremely funny, is pretty well representative of the movie itself.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“You can have any kind of home you want. You can even have stucco. Oh, how you can get stucco!”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
There was a death on Treebark Ln. The victim was identified as Mark Oswalt, who recently was married. The police went to the crime scene and they reported the death as a suicide.
Later that day, after the police left, a private detective, hired by the victim’s friend who thought it was a murder, searched the crime scene and found a note the police missed.
It read,
“4,3: 8,1:_: 9,1: 2,1: 7,4:_: 6,1:9,3:_: 9,1: 4,3: 3,3: 3,2: !”
The detective took out his cell phone and started dialing the police to tell them about his findings. Once the detective opened the phone to dial, he immediately screamed out, “I SOLVED IT!”
Who was the murderer and how did the detective find out?
Answer: The note said, “It was my wife!”
The detective looked at the keypad on his phone and saw the letters next to the numbers.
2,1 would be A
2,2 would be B
9,4 would be Z
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
I saw the happy pair pass by,
Newly wed midst joy and acclamation,
One simple English word thought I,
Exactly summed the situation.
But years have passed and love is slain,
And now they go divergent ways,
For they have been divorced.
Again, one word quite fits the case.
The second word is like the first,
Two central letters just reversed.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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