WELCOME to TUESDAY AUGUST 4, 2020
Here’s the Story…..
A scientist was successful in cloning himself. He was asked to speak at a
national convention of cloning scientists. The meeting room was located
on the 45th floor of a New York skyscraper. The scientist arrived with his
clone and proceeded to the podium. The clone sat at the end of the head table.
The scientist began the speech intending a tribute to the advances in the
field of modern biology. “My fellow scientists,” he began. But before he could
utter another word, the clone sprang to his feet and shouted out, “he’s an idiot!”.
The crowd began to murmur as the scientist commanded the clone to “sit down
and shut-up!”. Apologizing for the interruption, the scientist began again, “My fellow
scientists,”. Again the clone sprang to his feet and yelled, “this dumb idiot couldn’t
produce a copy on a Xerox. He’s fraudulent lying scum!”. Incensed, the scientist
rushed to the clone, grabbed him, and threw him out of the window. The crowd
gasped and security rushed into the room. A short while later New York’s finest
arrived and were explained the events that had transpired. The police chief said
to the scientist, “We are going to have to arrest you.” The scientist replied, “For
what? I have committed no crime. What fell from the window was a clone, not a
person.”. The attending scientists nodded in agreement. “Well,” retorted the
police chief, “we can not let this heinous act go unchallenged.” The police chief
thought for a moment and ordered the scientist held for
“Making an obscene clone fall…” 😳😁😎
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
“Content makes poor men rich; discontentment makes rich
men poor.”
– Benjamin Franklin
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“Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for
an institution yet.”
– Mae West
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“The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought
not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe
to be just.”
– Abraham Lincoln
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“My mother was as religious as she was repressed. Her facts
of life speech began with the phrase, ‘Satan takes many
forms…'” -Dana Gould
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“They say that kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray,
which is a good thing to remember the next time you get
lonely.” -Fred Stoller
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“Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody
can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.”
-Demetri Martin
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
A Grandmother was surprised by her 7-year-old grandson one morning when he had
made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got
to the bottom there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said,
“Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?” Her grandson said, “Grandma,
it says on TV-‘The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'” 😁😎
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
Pilot: “What is it, Doctor, what’s going on?” Doctor Rumack: “I’m not sure. I haven’t seen anything like this since the Anita Bryant concert.”
Answer: “Airplane” (1980)
Although the film nominally starred Robert Hays and Julie Haggarty, it was Neilsen who stole the picture. Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges were also hilarious as the pilot and air controller trying to talk an inexperienced pilot through landing the plane. Ex-basketball player Jabbar played the co pilot, Roger Murdock.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
Count de Monet: “It is said that the people are revolting. “King Louis XVI: “You’re telling me? They stink on ice.”
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Monday’s Quizzler is….
A Swiss woman was stuck at a Nazi checkpoint. There was a very long bridge at the border of Germany and Switzerland, but it took six minutes to cross. Observing the guard at the guardhouse, she found that he came out every three minutes to check that no one was trying to leave or enter. How did she manage to escape?
Answer: As soon as the guard reentered the guardhouse, she set out across the bridge. When she got halfway, she turned around, going back to Germany. When the guard saw her and waited for her to reach him, he saw she didn`t have the papers, so he sent her back to Switzerland, which is where she wanted to go.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Citrella is the Queen of Citrus City. You and your friends have won a free holiday to Citrus City in a Grand Raffle Draw! Congratulations!
All is fun until you reach Citrus City and are granted an audience with Queen Citrella to thank her for this wonderful gift. Her court is fragrant with smells of all the possible citrus fruits you can imagine! It’s a heady fragrance, and you all are thrilled to be there!
Queen Citrella gazes down upon you all and starts laughing ominously! She says, “Oh, another batch of labourers for my Citrus City!”. You are all shell-shocked! She goes on to explain that the “free” holiday is actually Queen Citrella’s way of getting free labour to pick all the citrus fruits in her kingdom.
“But I am not sour-hearted”, she says. “If you can decipher the Da Citrus code, you will not only enjoy your holiday here, but even get knighthood!”
Each of you is then given a chit. There are eight chits with eight different sentences on them. Can you find them out before you are given baskets and aprons to pick fruit? Hurry! Time waits for none and Citrella is not a patient Queen to wait!
Here are the sentences on each chit. Do you have it in you to decipher the code?
1. Other reasons are not given ever.
2. Let’s eat maize or nuts.
3. Gray rats are petrifying, even frightening, run under if threatened!
4. Look, I made eggs.
5. There among nine goats, eating rolls in new egg-flavour!
6. Cannot let every minister, every non-minister to interfere, never ever!
7. Mend away not darn away, rags into nightgowns!
8. Please open my envelope, lost one!
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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