WELCOME to FRIDAY AUGUST 7, 2020
THINKING OUT LOUD……..
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in,
what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who
drives a race car is not called a racist?
Why are wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn’t 11 pronounced onet one?
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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Quotes of the Day
Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and
our highest endeavor ought to be to set off
that spark in one another. — Kenny Ausubel
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Earth laughs in flowers. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Even the gods love jokes — Plato
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Everyone is so afraid of death, but the real
Sufis just laugh: nothing tyrannizes their hearts.
What strikes the oyster shell does not
damage the pearl.” — Mevlana Rumi
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From there to here, from here to there,
funny things are everywhere. — Dr. Seuss
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God has a smile on His face. — Psalm 42:5
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God is a comedian playing to an audience
too afraid to laugh. — Voltaire
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Grim care, moroseness, and anxiety—all this
rust of life ought to be scoured off by the oil
of mirth. Mirth is God’s medicine. — Henry Ward Beecher
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
Pat: Hey, Chris! How’s your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special. Chris: To tell you the truth, I’m really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird. Pat: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can’t believe it! Chris: Well, yeah. After all, he’s a parrot fish. Pat: I hate to tell you this, Chris, but while you might be able to teach a parrot bird to sing, you’re never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish. Chris: That’s what you think! He can sing all right. The thing is, he keeps singing off-key. It’s driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish? 😱😁😎
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
Barf: “I’m a Mog. Half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend.”
Answer: “Spaceballs” (1987)
This is Mel Brooks salute to the sci-fi genre. It features such characters as Princess Vespa, Pizza the Hut,
the robot Dot Matrix and Dark Helmet. A much-underrated film, I believe.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.”
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Thursday’s Quizzler is….
This teaser is based on ‘funny’ alternative definitions a word could have if you broke the word up into its syllables and treated the syllables as words in themselves. I will provide a list of words or names and a list of definitions, it is your job to match them up.
They are meant to be a bit light hearted and may not have perfect pronunciation so work the words in your head a bit. Having the definitions should provide help in this regard. Also note that sometimes the ‘new word’ syllables may not only be using one syllable in the word.
An example would be:
Word: Contemplate “Con template”: A stencil that criminals are made from.
Words:
Primate
Innovation
Awesome
Control
Bernadette
Definitions:
A short, ugly inmate
The act of removing your spouse from in front of the TV
A rousing applause for the motel/hotel
The act of torching a mortgage
A unit of measurement for the number of rowing implements used
Answer: Primate – ‘Pry mate’: The act of removing your spouse from in front of the TV
Innovation – ‘Inn ovation’: A rousing applause for the motel/hotel
Awesome – ‘Oar sum’ : A unit of measurement for the number of rowing implements used
Control – ‘Con troll’ : A short, ugly inmate
Bernadette – ‘Burn a debt’ : The act of torching a mortgage
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
“I know we should have called the police,” Eric Wembly admitted as he nursed a bump on the back of his head. “But the kidnapper said he’d kill my brother if we did. And it’s not like we couldn’t afford the ransom.”
John Wembly, the elder son of Jonas Wembly, had been missing since Tuesday. On Wednesday morning, a lone kidnapper telephoned the mansion and made his demands. The younger Wembly son, Eric, was to bring the money in unmarked bills in a duffel bag. He was to take a specific route from the mansion, parking in a downtown lot and carrying the bag through an alley to a drop site in a nearby park.
The normally cheap Jonas Wembly was frantic and willingly agreed to the terms. A midnight pay-off. Half a million dollars. And no police.
“I was halfway through the alley,” Eric testified, “when I heard footsteps. Before I could turn around I was hit on the head. I fell down. But it didn’t quite knock me out. I could see his back by the light of a street lamp. Never got to see his front. He was running away with the duffel bag. A tall guy with white sneakers. He was wearing blue jeans and a dark cardigan. Sorry I can’t be more specific.”
In the case’s one lucky break, a police officer came across Eric shortly after the attack. He called in the crime and a patrol car responded immediately. Two suspicious-looking characters were apprehended in the vicinity, both resembling Eric’s description.
“So, I was running,” Petey Bordon said angrily. He had been found two blocks from the attack and started running as soon as he saw the patrol car. Petey had a string of priors, all misdemeanors. “I’m on parole,” he admitted, “And I was carrying a knife — for my own protection at night. That’s a violation. Can you wonder why I ran away?”
The second suspect was Arnie Acker, a homeless drifter. “I wasn’t even wearing this sweater,” he protested as he unbuttoned his moth-eaten cardigan. “I picked it out of the garbage just before you guys pulled me in.”
“We didn’t find money on either one of ’em,” the chief of police told Jonas Wembly. “And we didn’t find the duffel bag. But I got a pretty good idea what happened. Don’t worry. We’ll get your son back.”
Who kidnapped John Wembly?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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