WELCOME to THURSDAY AUGUST 20 2020
The Laws of Golf….
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law
does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend
over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst
round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.
LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the
lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking
a law of the universe and should be cut down.
LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must
solemnly chant “You looked up,” or invoke the wrath of the universe.
LAW 6: The higher a golfer’s handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.
LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers.
The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.
LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.
LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.
LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn’t, how do you explain the way it works against you?
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
Quotes of the Day
“A new study found that a chemical in your body can actually make
you a bad dancer. It’s called ‘vodka.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg has banned outdoor smoking. Gun smoke,
radioactive steam, and the guy on the corner roasting a goat are still no problem.” -David Letterman
“A federal watchdog agency says that overlapping and duplicate programs waste billions of dollars each year.
Congress is taking this study so seriously that they’re ordering a second study to look into it.” -Jay Leno
“Only one man ever understood me,
and he didn’t understand me.” – G.W. Hegel (philosopher)
“Only one thing is impossible for God: To
find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.” Mark Twain.
“Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man
on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.” – Terry Pratchett.
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes….
This Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which
she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental.
He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win
handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last.
He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail.
He finally had to give up because it had become a real night mare. 😱😁😎
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I can’t swim.” “Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill ya.”
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
In the events leading up to this scene Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman), The Sundance Kid (Robert Redford) and their gang have just robbed a train. However, one of the train cars contains a posse of mounted Pinkerton detectives, who immediately give chase. The gang splits off, but the posse continues to trail Butch and Sundance up in mountainous country. When they are confronted by a steep drop off to a river, Sundance prepares to fight to the death. Butch suggests they instead jump and Sundance says no. When Butch persists, Sundance says the first line. An amused Butch replies with the second. Newman and Redford really did leap off a facsimile of the cliff but they landed on a mattress roughly six feet below. The actual death-defying jump was made by stunt men (although they actually are filmed jumping off a large crane into a lake). In the 1970 Academy Awards, “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” was nominated in seven categories, including Best Picture (but lost to “Midnight Cowboy”). It did win four Oscars.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Open the pod bay doors, HAL.” “I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
It prods a man’s hand, and it robs him of sleep,
It makes him climb mountains and travel the deep,
It makes him go wander down deep in a cave,
and do almost anything stupid or brave,
The longer denied the greater it grows,
It makes a man learn ’till he thinks that he knows.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
There are many four–letter words that can be formed by combining two US State abbreviations.
For example: Journey on horseback = RIDE which is RI (Rhode Island) + DE (Delaware).
See if you can figure these out:
1. Single sheet of glass
2. Large number of
3. Mount Vesuvius output
4. Diamond in the rough
5. Lacking moisture
6. Walk through water
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