Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!



Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a “near miss”? Shouldn’t it be called a “near hit”?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
How do you KNOW it’s new and improved dog food?
Why do they put locks on the doors of 24-hour stores?
What do they use to ship Styrofoam?
Why is it called rush hour when everything moves so slow?
Why do they call then express lanes when during rush hour everything is stopped?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?

If sour milk is used to make yogurt, how do you know when yogurt has gone bad?

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Most people think Caeser’s last words were ‘Et tu, Brute?’ But his real
last words, after being stabbed 50 times, were ‘Ouch!'” -Craig Ferguson
“A company in Massachusetts is building a robotic cheetah.  If I wanted
a cat with the personality of a robot, I’d just get a cat.” -Jimmy Fallon
“The day after daylight-saving time is supposed to be the worst day of the
year for car accidents, because the lower sun in the sky makes it hard
for people to read their tweets while driving.” -Jay Leno
“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my
finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.” Rodney Dangerfield
“People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize
how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world,” Calvin.
“Isn’t your pants’ zipper supposed to be in the front?” Hobbes.
Calvin and Hobbes.
“Cheese… milk’s leap toward immortality.”  Clifton Fadiman.
“Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.”  John Peers.
“You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of
Ex-Lax, tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.”
Pearl Williams.
G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s

A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained
a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command (“Jump!”). In a first stage of
experiment he removed flea’s leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he
wrote in his scientific notebook: “Upon removing one leg all flea organs function
properly.” So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed,
so he wrote again: “Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly.”
Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he
wrote again: “Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly.” Then
he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want
to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea
never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: “Upon removing the last leg the flea
loses sense of hearing”  😱😁😎
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “

 “Sir, you are no gentleman.”  “And you, miss, are no lady.”
Answer:   Gone with the Wind

In this scene Scarlett O’Hara (Vivien Leigh) has just learned her crush on Ashley Wilkes (Leslie Howard) is not reciprocated by his feelings for her. She is in a room she thinks is empty and throws a vase against a wall to express her displeasure. Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) is dozing on a sofa whose back is to Scarlett and sits up at the sound of the crashing vase. Scarlett is aghast at having a witness to her temper tantrum and says the first line. Rhett replies with the second line. In the 1940 Academy Awards “Gone with the Wind” won nine Oscars, including Best Picture, Vivien Leigh for Best Actress in a Leading Role, and Hattie McDaniel for Best Actress in a Supporting Role. Clark Gable and Olivia de Havilland were nominated for Oscars but did not win.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
 “What’s the T-shirt say?”  “I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to catch up.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Boys Billy, Lenny, and Samuel, and girls Jessica and Lindsay all go to the same school and take different classes. Each child got a different grade in a different class with a different teacher.

Kids: Billy, Lenny, Samuel, Jessica, and Lindsay
Teachers: Mr. Briggs, Mrs. Cooper, Mrs. Minn, Mr. Bobo, and Mrs. Runner
Grades: A, B, C, A-, and D
Subjects: Math, English, Science, History, and Physical Ed.
1. The 2 people who got A’s have names that end in Y.
2. The math student got a similar grade to Billy, but a little lower.
3. Mrs. Runner was sad to hand out a D to her student.
4. The C student loved her field trips, but isn’t a good test taker.
5. The Physical Education teacher is a male teaching a female, while the math teacher is female and teaches a male student.
6. Jessica and Lindsay didn’t get the highest or lowest grades out of the group; they got either a B or a C.
7. Mr. Bobo was the best Science teacher at the school, but Lenny didn’t have him.
8. Samuel really didn’t want to show his parents his report card because of the low grade he got from Mrs. Runner.

9. Mrs. Minn’s history class was the only class that had field trips and Lindsay loved them!


Billy/Science/A/Mr. Bobo
Jessica/Physical Education/B/Mr. Briggs
Lenny/Math/A-/Mrs. Cooper
Lindsay/History/C/Mrs. Minn
Samuel/English/D/Mrs. Runner
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Everyone knows and loves Disney Characters, so I have created a little challenge to test your knowledge of the many characters created by the Disney Studios over the years.

Can you figure out the characters represented by each clue below? Good luck and have fun reminiscing about all these memorable characters!
1. To act really strange, silly and funny
2. Smallest and farthest planet from the sun
3. Rhymes with picky house
4. Very short skirt + rhymes with house
5. Name for a Mafia boss + not young + avoid being hit
6. Opposite of light + the appendage of a bird used for flying + bird that goes “quack”
7. Type of flower + rhymes with luck
8. Tint or shade of a color + E + moisture found on grass in the morning + E + and + in _____ of (also rhymes with clue) + E
9. A round disc used as money in poker + and + canyon or lowland
10. Obscene, indecent or lecherous (rhymes with crude) + synthetic hair worn by woman + Von + D + tool used to sweep leaves
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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