Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 1, 2020

 Married life is full of excitement and frustration:

* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.
Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what
you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
It’s true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!
There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married.
A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don’t know son, I’m still paying for it.
Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries.

Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
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q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  
“According to the latest reports, medical marijuana sales in this country
are now approaching $2 billion a year. I had no idea that so many
people had glaucoma. Apparently this is an epidemic.” -Jay Leno
______________________________________
“A new study found that many woodwind and brass instruments
used by high school bands are contaminated with bacteria.
Kids must remember to always practice safe sax.”😁😎

-Jimmy Fallon

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G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s
A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up
out of his ashtray. “And what will your third wish be?” The man looked
at the genie and said, “Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when
I haven’t had a first or second wish yet?”

“You have had two wishes already,” the genie said, “but your second wish
was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your
first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it
was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left.” “Okay,”
said the man, “I don’t believe this, but what the heck. I’ve always wanted
to understand women. I’d love to know what’s going on inside their heads.”
“Funny,” said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever,
“That was your first wish, too!” 😳😁😎
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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”  
“Yes – it wasn’t logical.” “You were a TOMATO. A tomato doesn’t have logic! A tomato can’t move!”
Answer:  Tootsie!

In this scene out-of-work actor Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) is complaining to his agent George Fields (played by director Sydney Pollack) with the first line, that in a commercial, featuring him dressed up as a tomato, he was asked to do something that wasn’t logical. The agent explodes with the second. The movie title “Tootsie” was suggested by Dustin Hoffman. It was his mother’s nickname for him when he was a child. In the 1983 Academy Awards, Dustin Hoffman, Teri Garr, director Sydney Pollack, the screenplay writing, the title song, and the movie were all nominated for awards, but only Jessica Lange won an Oscar (for Best Actress in a Supporting Role).
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“I love you.” “Snap out of it!”
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Monday’s Quizzler is….​
Ten students in Ms. Borowski’s 6th grade class have been given a HUGE project!!! They have to research famous historical leaders (assigned–they can’t even choose), and present them in front of the class using creative methods. However, they can at least work in pairs! Can you figure out which pairs presented whom, what presentation method they used, and what grade they received?
Tony and Lizzy received the same grade – one did a documentary and the other created a PowerPoint Presentation.
Tony lent Roxanne a book on Simon Bolivar for her project, not knowing that Jenna had already borrowed the same book from the library.
Sarah couldn’t get Karl to do anything more than a timeline, which received the lowest grade.
Churchill ended up on a poster.
Zoe did not receive a B.
Danielle had already done numerous reports on Hitler, so she was thankful when she was assigned Churchill.
Although he wasn’t supposed to, Joey helped Adam with his documentary of Hitler, since Joey was doing a report on the American leader during that time period.
Answer:  Zoe – Danielle – Churchill – Poster – C
Adam – Lizzy – Hitler – Documentary – A
Karl – Sarah – Zedong – Timeline – D
Tony – Joey – Roosevelt – PowerPoint – A
Jenna – Roxanne – Bolivar – Book – B
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
What word starts with `e` ends with `e` and only has one letter in it?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
 
 
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