WELCOME to WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 2, 2020
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL
WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Last year, Chewbacca threw out the first pitch
for opening day. He was ‘Wookiee of the Year.'” -Craig Ferguson
“A message in a bottle was found in Russia, 24
years after it was written. Unfortunately, the note
said, ‘Help! Stranded with enough food for exactly 23 years.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“A woman in the United Kingdom left her daughter out of her will because
she didn’t like the name of one of her grand-children. That means no
inheritance for the woman, or forher baby, little ‘Grandma Sucks.'” -Jimmy Fallon
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s
A fellow and his wife living in Houston, Texas, where the people are all patriots, were blessed with the birth of twins, two identical girls. These twins were born on the 4th of July, and the father, being patriotic, said to his wife, “We will name them Liberty and Justice, after the pledge of alligence”. His wife said, “Are you nuts? You can’t have girls going through life with names like Liberty and Justice. We are going to name them regular girl’s names like Mary or Jane”. Well, the argument went on for about a month, when a compromise was reached. They would each name one of the girls. The man chose Liberty and the wife picked Elizabeth. As the girls grew, they were so identical, they kept pulling tricks on people who couldn’t tell them apart. Finally, when they were about 18, a young man took interest in them. He would take one out on a date but he was never sure which one he was with. He decided he would marry at least one of them,
but he wasn’t sure which one he would marry. He went to the girls father and explained his quandary. “I love your daughters and want to marry one of them, but I can’t tell them apart, so I will leave it up to you… Give me Liberty or give me Beth.”😱😁😎🙏
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”
“I love you.” “Snap out of it!”
In this scene baker Ronny Cammareri (Nicolas Cage) declares his love for Loretta Castorini (Cher) with the first line. However, she is engaged at the time to Ronny’s brother Johnny (Danny Aiello). She slaps him and says the second line. “Moonstruck” was nominated for Best Picture in the 1988 Academy Awards but lost out to “The Last Emperor.” Cher won an Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role for her portrayal of Loretta Castorini and Olympia Dukakis won one for Best Actress in a Supporting Role for her portrayal of Loretta’s mother Rose. Vincent Gardenia was nominated for Best Actor in a Supporting Role for his role as Loretta’s father Cosmo, but lost to Sean Connery in “The Untoucha
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“All right. Open your eyes.” “I’m flying, Jack!”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
What word starts with `e` ends with `e` and only has one letter in it?
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with a letter deleted (example: brand & band). The length of the first word in each pair is provided, along with the position of the deleted letter to obtain the second word.
1) a pale blue gas and unstable form of oxygen (5 letters) & (delete 1st letter) a section of a city restricted by law for a specific use
2) a type or class, as of literature or music (5 letters) & (delete 4th letter) a hereditary unit on a chromosome
3) to mark with a hot iron (5 letters) & (delete 5th letter) the outer layers of grain
4) a protector or champion of the people (7 letters) & (delete 4th letter) being three in one
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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