WELCOME to THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 3, 2020

TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD  
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can     do while you’re down there. (my favorite…)
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a     rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!  

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q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  
“Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.” – George Carlin

“The two most common elements inthe universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”- Harlan Ellison

“Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He wasusing a dotted line. He caught every other fish.”- Steven Wright

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. Elayne Boosler

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G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e sAn Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two-story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that thethird wife had given birth to twin boys.
“Correct,” said the chief. “How did you figure it out?”
The warrior answered, “It’s elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.”😳

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”  “All right. Open your eyes.”  “I’m flying, Jack!” Answer:  Titanic!In this famous scene Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio) holds Rose Bukater (Kate Winslet) standing with outstretched arms at the very front of RMS Titanic. Jack says the first line and Rose says the second. “Titanic” tells the historically-accurate saga of the luxurious White Star ocean liner that sank in 1912 on its maiden voyage, through the lives of two fictional characters, Jack Dawson and Rose Bukater. “Titanic” won 11 Oscars in the 1998 Academy Awards, including Best Picture and Best Original Song for “My Heart Will Go On” sung by Celine Dion. Both Gloria Stuart (old Rose) and Kate Winslet (young Rose) were nominated for Oscars, but neither won. The designation “RMS” stands for “Royal Mail Steamship” (also called Steamer or Ship). 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????“I don’t know about this beaming stuff. Is it safe?”  “Oh yes, sir. Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful.”

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with a letter deleted (example: brand & band). The length of the first word in each pair is provided, along with the position of the deleted letter to obtain the second word.
1) a pale blue gas and unstable form of oxygen (5 letters) & (delete 1st letter) a section of a city restricted by law for a specific use2) a type or class, as of literature or music (5 letters) & (delete 4th letter) a hereditary unit on a chromosome3) to mark with a hot iron (5 letters) & (delete 5th letter) the outer layers of grain4) a protector or champion of the people (7 letters) & (delete 4th letter) being three in one
Answer: 1) ozone & zone
2) genre & gene
3) brand & bran
4) tribune & triune

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….The following are anagrams of countries. Can you decipher all of them?
1. Glib Emu2. Neat Grain3. Age Lens4. Dark Men5. Serial

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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