Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


A teenager is: 
* A person who can’t remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.

* A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.

* A youngster who receives her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows it   from her best friend on Wednesday.

* Someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.

* A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can’t make a bed.

* A student who spends 12 minutes studying history and 12 hours studying for her driver’s license.

* A connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine music–loud and very loud.

* An enthusiast who has the energy to bike for miles but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.

* A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the brother.

* A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.

* A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.

* A boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday he suspects the lawn needs mowing.

* An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager. 

 Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  
Television has raised writing to a new low.- Samuel Goldwyn Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.- Edmund Gwenn

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle.- Alfred Hitchcock

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. Helen Rowland

 Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.Maurice Chevalier

 Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.Albert Einstein
 To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia – to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.H.L. Mencken

Love is the gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everyone else. George Bernard Shaw     

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s

Confucius Says:Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
He who eats too many prunes, sits on potty many moons.
Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
Man who make love to girl on hill…he not on level.
Honeymoon over when man who whispered sweet nothings before now say nothing sweet.
Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.. 


Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”  “Just tell me how much he owes and I’ll pay you back.”  “So far, it’s about 1.3 million dollars.” 

Answer:   Catch Me If You CanIn this scene several FBI agents visit Paula Abagnale (Nathalie Baye) to try and locate her son Frank, Jr. (Leonardo DiCaprio). She says the first line, thinking he is in some minor trouble, and agent Carl Hanratty (Tom Hanks) says the second. The real Frank Abagnale Jr. appears briefly in this movie as a French policeman. In the 2003 Academy Awards “Catch Me If You Can” was nominated for two awards but didn’t win either.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????“Man! That’s tasty!”  “That’s 100% pinot noir. Single vineyard. They don’t even make it any more.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​You can find me on a face;Frequently I’m in a vase.I’m precise by definition,Yet to one man I am different.

Answer:  A dozen.A dozen numbers on the face of a clock, a dozen roses in a vase, and although it means precisely 12, to one man (the baker), it means 13. 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….7 dogs were boarding at the local Pet Lodge. Each dog was in a separate run, all in a single row. One of the employees left the cages unlocked and the dogs have all gotten out of their runs. She needs to put each of them back in the right cage, but this is all she remembers. Help her get them in the right cages, and QUICK!

Dogs: Beau, Duke, Fluffy, Lady, Princess, Rover, and Spike

1. Spike doesn’t like other dogs much, so he was on one of the ends.

2. Princess was somewhere to the left of Beau.

3. Rover was in the third run from the right.

4. The only dog between Fluffy and Lady was Princess.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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