Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 9, 2020
English is Very Strange……
Did you know that “verb” is a noun?
How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can’t spell them?
If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?
If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren’t two houses hice?
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
If you’ve read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn’t this also mean that you would have to “member” somebody in order to remember them?
In Chinese, why are the words for crisis and opportunity the same?
Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable?
Is there another word for a synonym?
Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic”?
What is another word for “thesaurus”?
Where do swear words come from?
Why can’t you make another word using all the letters in “anagram”?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why do people use the word “irregardless”?
Why do some people type “cool” as “kewl?”
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Why do we say something’s out of order when its broken but we never say in of order when it works?
Why does “cleave” mean both split apart and stick together?
Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why does the Chinese ideogram for trouble symbolize two women living under one roof?
Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug?
Why doesn’t “onomatopoeia” sound like what it is?
Why don’t we say “why” instead of “how come”?
Why is “crazy man” an insult, while to insert a comma and say “Crazy, man!” is a compliment?
Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple?
Why is it that the word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary?
Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?
Why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why is the plural of goose-geese, and not the plural of moose-meese?
Why isn’t “palindrome” spelled the same way backwards?
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
 Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFULWEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

 

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  
And remember… Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90 per cent probability you’ll get it wrong.

 
I’d had enough of my employees’ abusing theirallotted break time. In an effort to clarify my position, I posted a sign on the bulletin board: “Startingimmediately, your 15-minute breaks are being cut from a half-hour to 20 minutes.” 


No sooner had I plopped myself in the chairfor my checkup when the dentist smirked, “Ready for your cavity search?”

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s

An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the secondgave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two-story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared thatthe third wife had given birth to twin boys. “Correct,” said the chief. “How did you figure it out?”The warrior answered, “It’s elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.”😳  

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”  

“Man! That’s tasty!”  “That’s 100% pinot noir. Single vineyard. They don’t even make it any more.”

Answer:  Sideways This movie tells the story of Miles (Paul Giamatti) and Jack (Thomas Haden Church), who set off on a weeklong road trip through California’s wine country. Miles is a depressed, divorced, high school English teacher who is very knowledgeable about wine, and Jack is a small-time actor who apparently has never met a woman he didn’t like. The friends they meet, the situations they get into and their discussions of relationships make this a very entertaining movie. In this scene Jack has just opened a bottle of Champagne in the car at the start of their trip and says line one. Miles responds with line two. In the 2005 Academy Awards “Sideways” won one Oscar and was nominated for four others, including Best Picture (but lost out to “Million Dollar Baby”). Paul Giamatti’s father is former Commissioner of Major League Baseball Bart Giamatti. 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????

You’re gonna fit right in. Everyone in here is innocent, you know that? Heywood, what you in here for?” “Didn’t do it.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​

7 dogs were boarding at the local Pet Lodge. Each dog was in a separate run, all in a single row. One of the employees left the cages unlocked and the dogs have all gotten out of their runs. She needs to put each of them back in the right cage, but this is all she remembers. Help her get them in the right cages, and QUICK!

Dogs: Beau, Duke, Fluffy, Lady, Princess, Rover, and Spike

1. Spike doesn’t like other dogs much, so he was on one of the ends.

2. Princess was somewhere to the left of Beau.

3. Rover was in the third run from the right.

4. The only dog between Fluffy and Lady was Princess.

Answer:  Duke-Lady-Princess-Fluffy-Rover-Beau-Spike 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….

A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) a lock’s companion and a bright-colored tropical bird & a vegetable and a vegetable
2) a chilly tome & a courageous chef
3) a mournful song & a spoiled cold dish of vegetables served with dressing
4) an excavation of an underground ore deposit in Geneva & the winner of a beauty pageant sponsored by pig farmers

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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