Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURDAY SEPTEMBER 10, 2020


How all careers end…
Lawyers are disbarred.
Ministers are defrocked.
Electricians are delighted.
Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented.
Drunks are distilled.
Alpine climbers are dismounted.
Piano tuners are unstrung.
Orchestra leaders are disbanded.
Artists’ models are deposed.
Cooks are deranged.
Dressmakers are unbiased.
Nudists are redressed.
Office clerks are defiled.
Mediums are dispirited.
Programmers are decoded.
Accountants are discredited.
Holy people are disgraced.
Pastry chefs are deserted.
Perfume makers are dissented.
Butterfly collectors are debugged.
Students are degraded.
Electricians are refused.
Bodybuilders are rebuffed.
Underwear models are debriefed
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREATTHURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

 

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  
“Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content.” – Louis L’Amour


“Opportunity is missed by most people becauseit is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”- Thomas A. Edison

“I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn’t like it.”- Samuel Goldwyn

“A new sleep study suggested that insomnia is linked to early death. Well that should help you doze off. If you weren’t sleeping before, this should knock you right out.”-Jay Leno 


“It’s not always good to give your child a trendy name. I still haven’t been forgiven by my 18-year-old son SirMix-a-Lot.” -Craig Ferguson 

“A recent study found that only 7 percent of 8th graders can correctly name the three branches of government. That’sridiculous — everybody knows it’s the legislative, the executive, and…” -Jimmy Fallon

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.” “Hans Olaffsen?”, he muses. “How in hell does that fit in here?” So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, “How did this place get a name like ‘Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'” The old man answers, “Is name of owner.” The tourist asks, “Well, who and where is the owner?” “Me…is right here,” replies the old man. “You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?” “Is simple,” says the old man. “Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, ‘What your name?’ He say,’Hans Olaffsen.’ Then shelook at me and go, ‘What your name?'” “I say Sem Ting.”😁

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”  “You’re gonna fit right in. Everyone in here is innocent, you know that? Heywood, what you in here for?” “Didn’t do it.” 

Answer:   The Shawshank Redemption In the events leading up to this scene, young banker Andrew Dufresne (Tim Robbins) is convicted of the murder of his wife and is sent to Shawshank Prison (but is later seen to be innocent). In this scene, when Andy first arrives at the prison, he approaches a group of prisoners and introduces himself to Ellis Boyd “Red” Redding (Morgan Freeman). Red recognizes his name and calls him the “wife-killin’ banker.” Andy protests that he didn’t do it and Red responds with line one. Prisoner Heywood (William Sadler) confirms Red’s evaluation with line two. In the 1995 Academy Awards, “The Shawshank Redemption” was nominated in seven categories, including Best Picture (but lost to “Forrest Gump”). Although this movie was just a modest financial success in theaters, it became one of the most popular video rentals of all time. This movie was adapted from Stephen King’s short story titled “Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption.”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????“And the answer to your question is, yes – if you fight for me, you get to kill the English.” “Excellent!”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​ A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?
1) a lock’s companion and a bright-colored tropical bird & a vegetable and a vegetable2) a chilly tome & a courageous chef3) a mournful song & a spoiled cold dish of vegetables served with dressing4) an excavation of an underground ore deposit in Geneva & the winner of a beauty pageant sponsored by pig farmers

Answer:  1) pillow and wine & willow and pine 2) rocky hat & hockey rat3) train crash & crane trash4) neat Swede & sweet need

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….You are given five words and five definitions. Each of the words can be anagrammed into a two word phrase that fits one of the definitions. Your task is to assign each definition to its corresponding word. Example – cobalt: to hit a feline in a high arc (cat lob)
Words: coriander, editorial, marsupial, tributary, wolverine
Definitions:a person who enjoys a fermented beveragea restaurant for killer whalesa true moroncougar densred, as related to gemstones

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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