Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

Feline Physics Laws…….

Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
Law of Cat Magnetism All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
Law of Cat Stretching A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
Law of Cat Sleeping All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
Law of Cat Elongation A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
Law of Cat Obstruction A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.
Law of Cat Acceleration A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
Law of Dinner Table Attendance Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
Law of Rug Configuration No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
Law of Obedience Resistance A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to do something.
First Law of Energy Conservation Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
Second Law of Energy Conservation Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  
 “There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.” – Sir Winston Churchill

“The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”- Mark Twain

“Recommend to your children virtue; that alone can make them happy, not gold.”- Ludwig van Beethoven

“Tuesday was the summer solstice. It’s the longest day of the year, if you don’t count Thanksgiving with your family.” -David Letterman

“I don’t know if you heard, but astronaut Buzz Aldrin is getting divorced. Apparently, he just needed some space.” -Jimmy Fallon😁       

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s  A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ”No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, thelady came in. ”Here,” she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ”I found them in the hallway.””Now,” she said, ”if only I could find my parakeet.”😱😳😁😎

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”    “I just wanted to tell you I’m your number one fan.”  “That’s… very sweet of you.”

Answer:   Misery In the events leading up to this scene, romance novel writer Paul Sheldon (James Caan) is rescued from an automobile crash by Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates), a somewhat unstable nurse who calls herself the “number one fan” of Paul’s heroine Misery Chastaine. In Annie’s secluded house, Paul finds himself drugged, crippled and at her mercy. He finally manages to kill her and escape. In this scene, Paul is having lunch at a restaurant with his agent Marcia Sindell (Lauren Bacall) after his escape and the waitress approaches their table with the dessert trolley. When she pulls out a large knife ready to slice whatever dessert they select, Paul momentarily flashes back to picture Annie holding a knife. When the waitress says line one, Paul snaps back to reality and replies meekly with line two (the last line in the movie). In the 1991 Academy Awards Kathy Bates won the Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role. This movie was adapted from Stephen King’s novel “Misery.” In the book, to prevent Paul from escaping Annie cuts off his foot, but in the movie that was changed to her breaking both his ankles with a sledgehammer. Ouch!

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? “Of course, when they bring the maple syrup after the pancakes, it’ll definitely be too late.””How is that gonna be too late? We haven’t ordered the pancakes yet.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​ From wood it’s made,From string it’s made,It floats upon the wind.It’s made by one,It’s made by many,From hands and mouths it spins.A score without a game.A staff not for the lame.With seven letters tamed.With five letters named
Answer:  Music 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……. The following four (4) clues are the definitions of words that have been jumbled below and turned into anagrams. Your job is to correctly unravel the anagrams and then place them next to their proper definition. Good luck!
1. The formal activities conducted on some important public or state occasion.2. Extremely funny.3. Exhilarated or stupefied by, or as if by alcohol.4. Causing serious thoughts, or a grave mood.
Jumbled Anagrams:Hi! Our sailOne mercyMelonsBare in diet

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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