Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY SEPTEMBER 28, 2020
Think About it………….
* Money doesn’t bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.
* Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.
* Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
* Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
* Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest of your life.
* The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
* When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet you’re in a public restroom.
* Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
* The real reason you can’t take it with you is that it goes before you do.
* Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
* Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
* A closed mouth gathers no feet.
* A man (or woman) who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
* A modern pioneer is a woman who can get through a rainy Saturday with a television on the blink.
* The world is full of willing people: some willing to work and some willing to let them.
* Money isn’t everything….there’s credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.  
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
MONDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  

 Humor is a reminder that no matter how high the throne one sits on, one sits on one’s bottom. Taki

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. Christopher Morley

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its headwith its pants torn. Irvin S. Cobb

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to consolehim for what he is. Francis Bacon

Humor results when society says you can’t scratchcertain things in public, but they itch in public. Tom Walsh

Humor has a way of bringing people together. It unitespeople. In fact, I’m rather serious when I suggest thatsomeone should plant a few whoopee cushions in theUnited Nations. Ron Dentinger
Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. Author Unknown

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s!A New York retail clerk was suffering from aching feet. “It’s all those years of standing,” his doctor declared. “You need a vacation. Go toMiami, soak your feet in the ocean and you’ll feel better.” When the man got to Florida, he went into a hardware store, bought two largebuckets and headed for the beach. “How much for two buckets of that seawater?” he asked the lifeguard.  “A dollar a bucket,” the fellow replied with a straight face.  The clerk paid him, filled his buckets, went to hishotel room and soaked his feet. They felt so much better he decided to repeat the treatment that afternoon. Again he handed the lifeguard twodollars. The young man took the money and said, “Help yourself.”  The clerk started for the water, then stopped in amazement. The tide was out. “Wow,” he said, turning to the lifeguard. “Some business you got here!”  

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”    “Oh Jerry, don’t let’s ask for the moon. We have the stars”?  


Answer: Now, Voyager!Boy, you don’t hear dialogue like that anymore (mercifully)! The quote is from 1942’s melodrama “Now, Voyager”, where Bette Davis plays Charlotte Vale opposite Paul Henreid as Jerry Durrance. Charlotte is a neurotic heiress who winds up at a sanitarium. Feeling better, she goes on a cruise where she meets Jerry and falls in love. They have an affair in Rio but it must end as Jerry is married (to a shrew) and has a daughter, Tina. Davis goes back to the sanitarium again and meets (unwanted) Tina. She winds up taking Tina back to live with her. When she meets Jerry again, he asks if she is happy with her life because they never got together. The quote above is her answer.  

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????“Did you think I’d be too stupid to know what a eugoogly is?

Friday’s Quizzler is….​ Answer the following with parts of the body. The first one is free!

1. A strong box (chest)
2. Heard in congress while voting
3. Baby cows
4. A shellfish
5. A unit used to measure distance
6. Scholars
7. Part of a shoe
8. What every builder must have
9. Something made by whips
10. What soldiers carry
Answer:  2. Eyes and nose [Aye’s and No’s]
3. Calves
4. Muscle [Mussel]
5. Feet
6. Pupils
7. Heel [Sole and tongue are also acceptable]
8. Nails
9. Lashes
10. Arms


Monday’s Quizzler is……. If to you I’m given you should thankfully receive,Then look me over carefully, just don’t look at my teeth.Show me to a cool stream and I’ll follow willingly,Though I might not do what you want, although parched I may be,But if you’re really hungry and are looking for a bite,I don’t think you could eat me even though you say you might.Decipher all these clues and then together they should tieTo help you solve the question which, of course, is “what am I?”

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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