WELCOME to TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 29, 2020
Getting braces : Putting your money where your mouth is .
Did you hear about the nuclear scientist who swallowed some uranium ? He got atomic ache .
Epitaph in a dog cemetery : “He never met a man he didn’t lick “.
Squirrel’s NEST: A Nutcracker Suite.
Social Diseases : Germs of endearment .
If Mississippi gave Missouri a New Jersey , what would Delaware ? Idaho, Alaska .
What’s the funniest animal in the world ? A stand-up chameleon .
When Eve went streaking through the Garden of Eden, Adam declared that she was absent without leaf .
“One man’s Mede is another man’s Persian”. “Are you Shah ? ” “Sultanly “.
She was only a moonshiner’s daughter, but he loved her still .
When high heels went out of style, it was a big letdown .
If you fall asleep while reading and sunbathing, you’re well red .
Dermitologists start their practices from scratch .
When you go to the dentist and get braces, you’re putting your money where your mouth is .
What do cats call mice on skateboards ? Meals on wheels .
Archeology students who study the plumbing of ancient Egypt are Pharaoh faucet majors .
Artificial fish : A plastic sturgeon .
Atheists are people with no invisible means of support .
Atheism is a non-prophet organization .
What do you get when you cross Dracula with a pig ? A hampire !
Do turtles wear people neck sweaters ?
One surgeon arguing with another : Suture self .
What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to ? Plymouth Rock !
Dieting : The triumph of mind over platter .
The explorer came down from the North Pole . When he reached the last Lapp, he knew he was at the Finnish line .
Who comes from down south, is very prejudiced ,and works for Santa Claus ? Rudolph the redneck reindeer .
It’s easy to milk a cow. Any jerk can do it .
Four Mexicans in quicksand : Quatro sinko . Two silkworms were in a race . They ended up in a tie .
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
Our life is short, your duties many, your assistance great, and your reward sure; therefore faint not, hold on and hold up, in ways of well-doing, and heaven shall make amends for all.Thomas Brooks
You’ve got to get to the stage in life where going for it is more important than winning or losing. Arthur Ashe
Since life and experience is a matter of trial-and-error, there’s no need to take choosing – or life itself – too seriously. Soren Lauritzen
We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from it. William Osler
It is for the superfluous things of life that men sweat. Marcus Annaeus Seneca
Once you say you’re going to settle for second, that’s what happens to you in life. John F. Kennedy
To win in life, don’t fear in life. Unknown
Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life…….Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as his specific opportunity to implement it. Franki
The sound of life has divine silence. Kedar Joshi
I can get sad, I can get frustrated, I can get scared, but I never get depressed – because there’s joy in my life. Michael J. Fox
A man with outward courage dares to die. A man with inward courage dares to live. Unknown
Where you end up is not the most important thing. It’s the road you take to get there. The road is what you’ll look back on and call your life. Tim Willey
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s! There were two weevils who grew up on a farm down south . One was very bright and ambitious, went to Harvard and MIT and became a famous scientist . The other stayed on the farmand never amounted to anything. He became known as the lesser of two weevils .😱😳😁😎
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” “Did you think I’d be too stupid to know what a eugoogly is? Answer: Zoolander!This quote is from the 2001 movie “Zoolander”, starring Ben Stiller as a male model; tagline “3% Body Fat. 1% Brain Activity”. Derek Zoolander is at the top of the fashion world, despite the fact (as you can see) that he is, umm, ‘a couplet sort of a sonnet’. When talking to Matilda Jeffries (Christine Taylor), Derek asks if she’s there to tell him what a bad “eugoogoolizer”. He is. When Matilda says “A what?”, he responds by saying “A eugoogoolizer …one who speaks at funerals”, at which point he says the quote in the question. Stiller was Larry Daley in “Night at the Museum” (2009), Greg Focker in “Meet the Parents” (2000), and White Goodman in “Dodgeball” (2004).
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? “To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!”
Monday’s Quizzler is…. If to you I’m given you should thankfully receive,Then look me over carefully, just don’t look at my teeth.Show me to a cool stream and I’ll follow willingly,Though I might not do what you want, although parched I may be,But if you’re really hungry and are looking for a bite,I don’t think you could eat me even though you say you might.Decipher all these clues and then together they should tieTo help you solve the question which, of course, is “what am I?”
Answer: If you answered “horse” then you’re quite clever, very shrewd,For to look a gift horse in the mouth is very, very rude!Though I may (or not) be thirsty it’s a well-known thing, I think,That you can lead a horse to water but you can not make it drink,And though you might be famished, I don’t think you mean a wordIn saying, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,” it’s quite absurd!
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……. A 3-letter-word has been taken out of each of the following words. Can you figure it out?
RA_ _ _G_ _ _DERS_ _ _GMU_ _ _Y
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.