Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 30, 2020
Thinking Out Loud……
 Who is General failure and why is he reading my disk ?
The light went out, but where to ?
Why do banks charge you a “non-sufficient funds fee” on money they already know you don’t have?
Why is it you have a “pair” of pants and only one bra?
How come when I call Information they can’t tell me where my keys are?
Why do people go to Burger King and Order a Double Whopper with a Large French Fry and insist on getting a Diet Coke?
Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?  Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!Peace, I am  outta here!  Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  
Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.


Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!


I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.

Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.


Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.

You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.


Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.


Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she will take it anyway. 


Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.


A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

You are getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.😁


G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s! I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right. The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the door on the other side and jumps onto the other horse. Just before he rodeoff, I yelled out, “What was all that about?” He replied, “Nothing. It’s just a stage I’m going through.” 😳😁😎 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”     “To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!” 

Answer: A Fish Called Wanda! Jamie Lee Curtis is Wanda Gershowitz in the comedy “A Fish Called Wanda” (1988). Among her other conspirators in this heist film is Otto West (Kevin Kline) to whom the quote is directed, after he breaks in on her and Archie (John Cleese) who she is trying to seduce. Otto gets annoyed when Wanda calls him stupid. He says “don’t call me stupid” and Wanda replies “To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs.” After the robbery is committed, they all try to double-cross each other for the diamonds. Jamie’s other characters include Helen Tasker, Laurie Strode and Tess Coleman.  

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? “Why so serious?”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​  A 3-letter-word has been taken out of each of the following words. Can you figure it out?
RA_ _ _G_ _ _DERS_ _ _GMU_ _ _Y  

Answer:  TIN.
RATINGTINDERSTINGMUTINY
TINGLE


Wednesday’s Quizzler is……. Five people are getting a job after they get married.
First Names- Adam, Jacob, Sydney, Sarah, AshleyLast Names- Adams, Thompson, Jackson, Newman, HudsonMarried to- Ella, Emma, Brad, Levi, and TylerJobs- Doctor, Veterinarian, Teacher, Lawyer, Hair StylistCity Working in- Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, Columbus, Phoenix
1. Adam (whose last name is not Hudson) doesn’t work in Los Angeles.
2. The five people are Jacob, Mr. Thompson, the one married to Tyler, the veterinarian, and the one who works in Columbus.
3. The person who is the doctor doesn’t work in Phoenix.
4. The person whose last name is Newman (who isn’t Sydney) is the teacher.
5. Sydney, whose last name is Adams, doesn’t work in New York.
6. The five jobs belong to the hair stylist, Sydney, the one married to Levi, the person whose last name is Newman, and the one who works in Chicago.
7. The doctor isn’t married to Ella. The veterinarian isn’t married to Brad.
8. Emma (who isn’t married to Jacob) is married to the doctor.
9. Mrs. Jackson doesn’t work in Phoenix.
10. Sarah (whose last name is not Hudson) is the hair stylist.
11. The veterinarian works in New York. The lawyer works in Columbus.
12. Jacob’s last name is Newman.
13. Brad is married to the lawyer.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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