Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 7, 2020 ACTUAL PRODUCT INSTRUCTIONS:

ON A HAIRDRYER: *Do not use while sleeping.
ON A BAG OF FRITOS: *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: *Directions: Use like regular soap.
FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION: *Defrost.
ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: *Fits one head.
ON TESCO’S TIRAMISU DESERT: *Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: *Product will be hot after heating.
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: *Do not iron clothes on body.
ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE: *Do not drive car or operate machinery.
ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): *Warning: May cause drowsiness.
ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: *Warning: Keep out of children.
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: *For indoor or outdoor use only.
ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: *Not to be used for the other use.
ON SAINSBURY’S PEANUTS: *Warning: contains nuts.
ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.😳  
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!Peace, I am  outta here!  Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  
“A new study finds that if you’re drunk around sober people, you’ll think you’re less drunk than if you’re around other drunk people. And if you’re drunk around sober people, chances are you’ve got a problem.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Dunkin’ Donuts announced next year they will shorten their name from Dunkin’ Donuts to just ‘Dunkin’.’ And their customers will shorten the name of their disease from diabetes to just ‘betes from now on.” -Conan O’Brien

“A restaurant in Manhattan has created a $15, 25-ounce milk shake, which comes in a cream cheese frosted glass covered in marshmallows and cereal, filled with ice cream and topped with a cinnamon bun. At least that’s what it said on the toxicology report.” -Seth Meyers

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s! I was complaining the other day to a friend about the knot in my tie. “These four-in-hands with their tiny knots are so un-stylish,” I complained. He asked, “Do you know how to do a Windsor knot? “I replied, “It doesn’t matter if you Windsor knot, it’s how you play the game!😳

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”     “Travelling through space ain’t like dusting crops boy.”   

Answer: Star Wars “Star Wars” treated moviegoers to a classic story of inter-galactic cops and robbers. We watched in awe as a small band of pure-hearted rebels fought back against the evil clutches of the Emperor, winning a significant victory in the destruction of the Empire’s weapon of mass destruction – the Death Star.
This line was said early in the movie, when Luke and Obi Wan were trying to return the droids to Alderan. As they attempted to begin their journey, they found themselves under attack by Imperial spaceships. Han needed time to prepare to make the jump into hyper-space, time that he wasn’t being given. Luke was critical of Han’s piloting, and Han responded with this quote.George Lucas directed the then virtually unknown Harrison Ford to stardom with this incredible film.  

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Houston, we have a problem.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​ Can you take three letters away from a four-letter word and manage to have it mean the same thing? 

Answer: Five, if you take away F, I, and E, it leaves V which is the Roman numeral for five. 


Wednesday’s Quizzler is……. Four of us are in your field But our differences keep us at yield
First, a one that is no foolThough he resembles a gardener’s tool
Next, one difficult to split in twoAnd a girl once had one as big as her shoe
Then, to the mind, one’s a lovely bonderAnd truancy makes it grow fonder
Last, a stem connecting dots of threeKnowing all this, what are we?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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