Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

Life’s Little Moments of Destruction.

The meek shall inherit the Earth after we’re done with it.

Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

Money can’t buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.

I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Don’t be so humble – you are not that great. — Golda Meir

Everyone needs belief in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.

When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

I can tell you’re lying. Your lips are moving.

There’s nothing more restful than taking orders from fools.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re surrounded by turkeys.

He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.

I’m not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost.

Yesterday was the deadline on all complaints. 
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
MONDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!Peace, I am  outta here!  Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  
 Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. — Albert Einstein

To err is human. To forgive is unusual.

Attention to health is life greatest hindrance. — Plato

Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.        
“The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.”- David M. Ogilvy

“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.”- Walt Whitman

“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.”- Sir Richard Steele

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s! He was a mediocre conductor of a mediocre orchestra. He had been having problems with the basses; they were the least professional of his musicians. It was the last performance of the season, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, which required extra effort from the basses at the end. Earlier that evening, he found the basses celebrating one of their birthdays by passing a bottle around. As he was about to cue the basses, he knocked over his music stand. The sheet music scattered. As he stood in front of his orchestra, his worst fear was realized; it was the bottom of the 9th, no score and the basses were loaded. 😁😎

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”      “The United States Government just asked us to save the world. Anyone wanna say no?”

Answer: ArmageddonAn asteroid, the approximate size of Texas, is hurtling towards the Earth, threatening to wipe out life as we know it. A crack team of deep core drilling specialists is sent up into to space to implant a nuclear device inside the asteroid, to save the world.
This quote is spoke by the head of the drilling team (played by Bruce Willis) when he presents the job offer to his team.  

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
 “By Grabthar’s hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall be avenged.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​ Can you name the salad veggies? Use synonyms of each word in the clue; put them together to sound out the answer.

EG. Clue: Dog Bloom
Answer: Cauliflower
Explanation: “Collie” “Flower”

1. Caution Groove
2. Rotate Bite
3. Fish-egg Hair
4. Allow We
5. Twirl Scratch
6. Taxi Shift
7. Animal-park Crucial Leg-joint
8. Signal Burden
9. Awesome Plate
10. Invigorate Each

Bonus: -Room Jumble
-Compel Whip
-Not Age 

Answer:  1. Carrot (Care-rut)2. Turnip (Turn-nip)3. Romaine (Roe-mane)4. Lettuce (Let-us)5. Spinach (Spin-itch)6. Cabbage (Cab-budge)7. Zucchini (Zoo-key-knee)8. Cucumber (Cue-cumber)9. Radish (Rad-dish)10. Pepper (Pep-per)
Bonus:-Celery (Cell-lurry)-Garlic (Gar-lick)-Onion (Un-eon)

Monday’s Quizzler is……. Can you figure out the logic I used to decide the order of the following words:
gun, shoe, spree, door, hive, kicks, heaven, gate, line, den

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at, WEBSITE LINKS:,, THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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