Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


The Funny Side of Marriage…………….

One woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Well, yes, but I married the wrong man.”

Getting married is very much like going out to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor’s degree and the woman gets her master’s.

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in most countries, son.

A man once said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.”

A man took out a classified ad saying “Wife wanted”. The next day he received a hundred responses saying “You can have mine.”

Some men define marriage as a very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

And some learn that the most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you know that either the wife is new – or the car is.

Husband: “You know, I was a fool when I married you. “Wife: “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t care!”

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am  outta here!  Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  
“Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.”- Oscar Wilde

“The best way to keep one’s word is not to give it.”- Napoleon Bonaparte

“A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.”- Katharine Whitehorn     

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s! A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting “I don’t give two hoots for your shoes man, I’ll go and kill my own “croc!, “to which the shopkeeper replied, “by all means, just watch out for those two “ole boys” who are doing the same!”.  So the man went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. ‘They must be the ‘ole boys’ he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The guy stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer.  Just as the beast was about to swallow him, he struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already laying Together the two guys threw the gator onto its back, where-upon one exclaimed “Darn! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”. 😱😳😁😎  

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”     “By Grabthar’s hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall be avenged.”

Answer:  Galaxy Quest! The cast members of a cancelled, “Star Trek”-like television program, with a deeply devoted following, spend the rest of their careers reenacting their roles for conferences and grocery store openings. When a group of aliens, who had modeled their entire society after intercepted shows, appeals to them to help save their people from aggressive invaders, the crew suddenly finds themselves really in space, playing for stakes much higher than they had ever imagined.
This line is the catch phrase of one of the characters, which he is trapped into repeating ad nauseum, for what feels to him like all eternity.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
 “He’s a man from outer space and we’re taking him to his spaceship.” – Elliott”Well, can’t he just beam up?” – Greg”This is reality Greg.” – Elliott

Monday’s Quizzler is….​ Can you figure out the logic I used to decide the order of the following words:
gun, shoe, spree, door, hive, kicks, heaven, gate, line, den
Answer:   Each word rhymes with its numeric position in the list. (e.g. “gun” rhymes with “one”, etc.)

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……. A neighborhood block party had a Dutch oven cobbler cook-off. All cobblers were made with a cake batter and a fruit. Five people entered the cook-off, each one using a different cake and fruit. From the clues below determine the name of the person, the type of cake and fruit used, and what place they took.The boys are George, Russell, and Cory and the girls are Chelsea and Mary

1) The 2nd place cobbler had raspberry as the fruit, while the 1st place cobbler had marble.2) The cobbler that used white cake did not use apple.3) The cobbler that mixed yellow cake and cherry placed higher than 4th, while a female baked the 4th place cobbler.4) Cory’s cobbler was made with mixed fruit while Russell placed 3rd.5) Devil chocolate was used with George’s cobbler which did not place last. Chelsea’s cobbler placed either 2nd, 3rd,or 5th but did not use pineapple as the fruit.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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