Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!



1. Someone stole the police station’s toilets. They have nothing to go on.
2. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
3. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? Attire.
4. What does C.S. Lewis keep in his wardrobe? Narnia business.
5. I put all my cash into an origami business. It folded.
6. I was worried about being in a long-distance relationship. But so far so good.
7. I suffer from kleptomania. But I take something for it.
8. I’m afraid of negative numbers. I’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
9. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
10. Two antennas got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
11. I quit my job at the donut factory. I was fed up with the hole business.
12. I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
13. RIP boiling water. You will be mist.
14. Why did the monk refuse Novocain when he had his tooth pulled? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
15. Just found out sticks float. They would.
16. My boat was cold, I tried to make a fire but it sank. I guess you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
17. I went to that new restaurant, Karma. There’s no menu, you just get what you deserve.
18. Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work.
19. You can’t trust atoms, they make up everything.
20. I met a criminal with a bounty on his head. That was a weird place to keep paper towels.
21. A psychic tried to sell me information on my past lives. I hate used karma dealers.
22. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
23. I met my wife on a dating site. We just clicked.
24. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
25. Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me. It means a lot.
26. My roommates suspect I’m stealing their kitchen utensils. But that’s a whisk i’m willing to take.
27. I’m going to try Velcro instead of shoe laces. Why knot?
  Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!Peace, I am outta here!  Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y   “Nothing contributes so much to tranquilizing the mind asa steady purpose – a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.” – Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

“We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.”- Eric Hoffer

“Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be.”- Anton Chekhov

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s! A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.” The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. “And what if I swallow it?”  “No problem,” says the barber. “Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does.”  😱😳😁😎 

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”      “He’s a man from outer space and we’re taking him to his spaceship.” – Elliott”Well, can’t he just beam up?” – Greg”This is reality Greg.” – Elliott

Answer: ET: the Extra-TerrestrialLeft behind when his ship became threatened, ET is lucky that he has Elliott to look after him. Unfortunately lots of people are looking for ET, who is wasting away because of his enforced separation from his own kind. When his ship returns to retrieve him, Elliott enlists the help of friends to get ET past all the men in the space suits.
This quote occurs near the end of the movie, when Elliott is introducing ET to his brother’s friends, just before they take off on their bikes.  

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“You see their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later, as they grow, follows madness and death.” 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​ A neighborhood block party had a Dutch oven cobbler cook-off. All cobblers were made with a cake batter and a fruit. Five people entered the cook-off, each one using a different cake and fruit. From the clues below determine the name of the person, the type of cake and fruit used, and what place they took.The boys are George, Russell, and Cory and the girls are Chelsea and Mary

1) The 2nd place cobbler had raspberry as the fruit, while the 1st place cobbler had marble.2) The cobbler that used white cake did not use apple.3) The cobbler that mixed yellow cake and cherry placed higher than 4th, while a female baked the 4th place cobbler.4) Cory’s cobbler was made with mixed fruit while Russell placed 3rd.5) Devil chocolate was used with George’s cobbler which did not place last. Chelsea’s cobbler placed either 2nd, 3rd,or 5th but did not use pineapple as the fruit.   
Answer:  George’s cobbler was made with devil chocolate and raspberry and placed 2nd.Russell’s cobbler was made with yellow and cherry and placed 3rd.Cory’s cobbler was made with marble and mixed fruit and placed 1st.Mary’s cobbler was made with white and pineapple and placed 4th.Chelsea’s cobbler was made with caramel and apple and placed 5th.   

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……. Jesse James’ lesser known brother, Eddie has also decided to take up robbing banks for a living. He is unfortunately a little slow and has forgotten to bring the dynamite to blow open the safe!

Using logic, the following clues and a large amount of patience, can you figure out the 10 digit number to crack the safe?

*All digits from 0 to 9 are used exactly once.

*The sum of the 2nd, 5th, 6th and 8th digits is a single digit number.

*The 4th digit is a perfect square.

*The 3rd digit is 1.

*The sum of the 4th and 7th digits is a perfect square.

*The value of the 10th digit is twice that of the 2nd.

*The product of the 4th and 6th digits is equal to that of the 10th and 2nd digits.

*The 5 is next to the 6 but not the 4.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at, WEBSITE LINKS:,, THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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