Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


More Bad Weekend Punagraphy… It’s inappropriate to make a ‘dad joke’ if you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.
Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.
Can February March? No, but April May!
How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? From the bark.
How do lawyers say goodbye? We’ll be suing ya!
Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.
What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.
 What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
Where do baby cats learn to swim? The kitty pool.
Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web.
How can a leopard change his spots? By moving. 

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here!  Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  

“Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.”- Philip K. Dick 

“Convinced myself, I seek not to convince.” – Edgar Allan Poe

“A week has no basis in nature, as do days, months and years. So birds don’t understand weeks or weekdays. They do know enough to come back to the sidewalk cafe every day for crumbs. But suppose the cafe is in the business district and closed on weekends? What do the birds think of that? I’ll bet they’re really glad when Monday rolls around. Unlike the rest of us.” –George Carlin

“Someone has said that there are only two kinds of people in
the world—- There are those who wake up in the morning andsay, “Good Morning, Lord,” and there are those who wake upin the morning and say, “Good Lord, it’s morning.” –Unknown

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s! Because my mother had a habit of losing her cordless phone, I bought her a phone with a clip on it so she could attach it directly to her belt. A few days later, I walked into my mother’s home and found her standing in the middle of the living room, halfway dressed. That didn’t strike me as odd so much as the fact that she was holding her pants to the side of her head and speaking into them. “Don’t look at me that way,” she yelled. “The phone started ringing and I couldn’t figure out how to undo this stupid clip!” 😏😁😎 

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”      “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers” 

Answer:  “A Streetcar Named Desire” In “A Streetcar Named Desire”, Blanche DuBois is an aging belle who suffers from self-delusion and alcohol abuse. Finally committed to a mental institution after having suffered rape, she remarks to her doctor: “Whoever you are – I have always depended on the kindness of strangers”, summarizing her inability to manage her life in a rather resigned way.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“The fat hobbit, he knows. Eyes always watching.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​ As you may know, a group of fish is called a “school”, a group of lions is called a “pride”, and a group of seagulls is called a “flock”. Some are a little more unusual. See if you can guess what animals belong to the following groups:
Crash Exaltation Mob Murder Parliament Pod Sounder  
Answer:  Crash – RhinocerosExaltation – LarkMob – KangarooMurder – CrowParliament – OwlPod – WhaleSounder – Pig/Hog 

Friday’s Quizzler is……. This one is a “mental” exercise – don’t use paper and scissors – just imagine in your mind:
Take a sheet of paper – any size that you happened to have (remember, just imagine this paper). Now fold this sheet of paper in half and now fold it in half again, at right angles to the first fold. Now you have four thicknesses of paper. Now imagine you use scissors and cut through all four thicknesses, right down the middle of the paper, parallel to the first fold you made. Now, imagine, how many pieces of paper do you have now? Don’t get paper and scissors to solve this one – try to picture this in your mind!

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at, WEBSITE LINKS:,, THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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