Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Bumper Stickers……
Ambivalent? Well yes and no….
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Is it time for your medication or mine?
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck
How do I set the laser printer to stun?
I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert….
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be … ?   Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here!  Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y    “A new study found that the Reebok Classic is the most popular shoe worn by burglars. The second most popular shoe worn by burglars: yours.” -Jimmy Fallon

“According to doctors, marijuana use among the elderly is atan all-time high. Apparently, senior citizens are moving veryslowly, making crazy statements, and going out to dinner veryearly.” -Craig Ferguson 
“It’s the Year of the Rabbit. I think rabbits are adorable. I love how their noses twitch and their feet make little key chains.” -Craig Ferguson

“A man in New York was arrested for stealing a garbage truck.They knew he wasn’t a real garbage man because he keptstopping to pick up trash.” -Jimmy Fallon

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s! Penny was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived on her own. Her dream in life was to go on an ocean cruise around the world. So she scrimped, and she saved, and she saved, and she scrimped until finally, one day, she had enough money to go on her ocean cruise. She booked passage on a cruise liner – first class all the way… The cruise started off in a grandiose scale, dancing and parties every night. But Penny was a cautious girl, so she never drank, but ust danced the night away.

One night, after they had been at sea for a week, Penny was walking back to her cabin, when the heel on her left shoe broke throwing her off balance. If that wasn’t enough, the ship chose that moment to tilt to the left. As a result, Penny was thrown overboard. A hue and a cry were immediately raised, and after about five minutes they found Penny. Hauling her aboard, the ship’s crew realized that it was too late, poor Penny was dead.

Normally, they would have done a burial at sea, but as I said before, Penny was a very conscientious girl, and had written a will. In it, she specified that she wished for her body to be cremated, and kept in a jar on her parent’s fireplace mantel. Her wishes were fulfilled, which just goes to show you that a Penny saved is a Penny urned. 😱😳😎 

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”     “We’ll always have Paris”   

Answer:  “Casablanca ”                                                                                                                                                      In context, this quote from “Casablanca”, said by Rick to Ilsa in a reminiscence of their time together in German-occupied Paris, is “We’ll always have Paris. We didn’t have, we… we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.” She replies “When I said I would never leave you”, thus re-establishing the loving relationship they cannot live due to Rick’s role in liberating fugitives from the Nazi territories.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“There is always someone left to DECEIVE”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​ There are five doors, one leads to the exit, the others lead to traps. They are in a line. The clues tell you which position the doors are in the line and where the door to freedom is. All the clues are true. Each door has a clue written on it. The clues read:
The blue door: This door is two spots away from the door to freedom.The red door: This door is at the far right, and is two spots away from the blue door.The purple door: This door is not next to the door to freedom.The green door: This door is left of the blue door.The orange door: This door is not next to the red or blue doors.
Which door leads to freedom? 

Answer: The orange door leads to freedom. 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….After getting off work from the toy factory that night, Duffus was going out to dinner with the girl next door. Wanting to impress her with his newly painted car, which he painted himself using some old paint the factory was going to throw out, he decided to go through the car wash before meeting her. Duffus gazed into the steaming hot car wash thinking how great his car would look after. Then he noticed the time. “I’m gonna be late,” thought Duffus. Once through, Duffus sped out of the car wash as the attendant looked on in amazement at his car. Duffus, normally a responsible driver, but now in panic mode, became a speed demon on the only road out of town. He raced past the doughnut shop where two officers were parked, and they happened to get a really good look at Duffus’s car as he sped by. As it started to rain, Duffus thought how the cold wet weather could ruin his dinner plans. Realizing the roads were getting slick and he was way in excess of the speed limit, he slowed down. Then, Duffus noticed the flashing lights and sirens. He was the only car on the road for miles, so he knew they wanted him and pulled over, but they just slowed down enough to get a good look at the car and sped off in search of their speeder. “Strange,” thought Duffus, and kept going. Though the police had clearly seen Duffus’s car as he passed the doughnut shop, they thought Duffus was not the one they saw.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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