Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


The Procrastinator’s creed..
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don’t succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan-start-finish, but is wait-plan-plan.
13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator’s Society) if they ever get it organized.
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL
WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here!  Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  

It is now well known, however, that men enter local politics solely as a result of being unhappily married. 

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. 

There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, ‘Why a third?’ he replied ‘One’s absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!’  

If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path. 

Neither of us entered marriage thinking it wouldn’t be a strain. Life has strains in it, and he’s the person I want to strain with. 

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night. 

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage. 

Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.  

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s! Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor. Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said,
“Don’t worry. Someday your prints will come”. 😱😁😎 

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”      “There is always someone left to FIGHT” 

Answer: “Gladiator”In the historic epic “Gladiator” (2000), Emperor Marcus Aurelius wishes to to reward General Maximus for another triumphant victory. “There is always someone left to fight. How can I reward Rome’s greatest General?” Maximus replies he’d rather go home and end the bloodshed, but the ailing Emperor has a different vision – to make him his successor as protector of Rome, a fate that would not come to be when Commodus, the Emperor’s son, kills his father the following night.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“The MATRIX will be with you, always.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​ After getting off work from the toy factory that night, Duffus was going out to dinner with the girl next door. Wanting to impress her with his newly painted car, which he painted himself using some old paint the factory was going to throw out, he decided to go through the car wash before meeting her. Duffus gazed into the steaming hot car wash thinking how great his car would look after. Then he noticed the time. “I’m gonna be late,” thought Duffus. Once through, Duffus sped out of the car wash as the attendant looked on in amazement at his car. Duffus, normally a responsible driver, but now in panic mode, became a speed demon on the only road out of town. He raced past the doughnut shop where two officers were parked, and they happened to get a really good look at Duffus’s car as he sped by. As it started to rain, Duffus thought how the cold wet weather could ruin his dinner plans. Realizing the roads were getting slick and he was way in excess of the speed limit, he slowed down. Then, Duffus noticed the flashing lights and sirens. He was the only car on the road for miles, so he knew they wanted him and pulled over, but they just slowed down enough to get a good look at the car and sped off in search of their speeder. “Strange,” thought Duffus, and kept going. Though the police had clearly seen Duffus’s car as he passed the doughnut shop, they thought Duffus was not the one they saw.

Answer:  Duffus had painted his car with color changing paint used on toys. When his car was cold, it was blue. Once through the hot car wash, it turned red, and then the cold rain turned it blue again. The police saw the car as red at the doughnut shop and blue as they passed later. 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……. When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first. Example: Begin -> Heavenly body Answer: The words are Start and Star.
1. Position; observe -> Compete

2. Introductory textbook -> First in rank

3. School subject -> Floor covering

4. Written composition -> Show displeasure

5. Make again -> A colour

6. What person (objective) -> What person (subjective)

7. Close together; slow to learn -> Lairs

8. Therefore -> Unit of energy
Bonus: Take the eight curtailed letters and form a one-word anagram; you will find an assignment.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at, WEBSITE LINKS:,, THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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