WELCOME to THURSDAY NOVEMBER 5, 2020
Here’s the Story…
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently, it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, “Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So, what’s your story?”
So, the first man replies: “Well, for a while I’ve suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn’t reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn’t you know it, he wouldn’t fall off. So finally, I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn’t stand that for long, so he let go and fell — but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony.”
“That sounds like a pretty bad day to me,” said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
“It’s been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn’t hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally, I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I’m here.”
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
“Picture this,” says the third man, “I’m hiding inside a refrigerator…” 😱😳😁😎 Hey I’m just saying.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Author Unknown
A bargain is something you can’t use at a price you can’t resist. Franklin P. Jones
It’s always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped. Author Unknown
What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea. Robert Brault
An unwatched pot boils immediately. H.F. Ellis
If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark. Leopold Fechtner
Anything you lose automatically doubles in value. Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. Will Rogers
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. Author Unknown
How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire? Christy Whitehead
G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s! A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.
Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant “Take another drink”! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, “Take another drink”! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left…. then to the right…. right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says, “That boy should have quit while he was a head.” 😳😁😎
Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ” “The FORCE will be with you, always.”
Answer: “Star Wars” In the original “Star Wars” trilogy, “May the Force be with you” is a customary goodbye phrase among the Rebel Alliance. Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and, after his death, his spiritual form use the more encouraging and definite variant in “A New Hope” several times, to reassure the young Luke Skywalker in the moments of greatest doubt, including the crucial final scene where his starfighter approaches the weak spot of the Death Star for a final chance at victory.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“I’ve always known I’ll die QUICKLY”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is…. When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.Example: Begin -> Heavenly bodyAnswer: The words are Start and Star.
1. Position; observe -> Compete
2. Introductory textbook -> First in rank
3. School subject -> Floor covering
4. Written composition -> Show displeasure
5. Make again -> A colour
6. What person (objective) -> What person (subjective)
7. Close together; slow to learn -> Lairs
8. Therefore -> Unit of energy
Bonus: Take the eight curtailed letters and form a one-word anagram; you will find an assignment.
Answer: 1. View -> Vie 2. Primer -> Prime 3. Math -> Mat 4. Book -> Boo 5. Redo -> Red 6. Whom -> Who 7. Dense -> Dens 8. Ergo -> Erg
Thursday’s Quizzler is……. Why did the old lady always answer the door wearing her hat and coat?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.