Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Married life is full of excitement and frustration:

  • In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
  • In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
  • In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want,
and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

It’s true that all men are born free and equal, but some of them get married!

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A
year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.😏

Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don’t know son; I’m still paying for it.

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“According to the latest reports, medical marijuana sales in this country are
now approaching $2 billion a year. I had no idea that so many people
had glaucoma. Apparently, this is an
epidemic.” -Jay Leno

“A new study found that many woodwind and brass instruments
used by high school bands are contaminated with bacteria.
Kids must remember to always practice safe sax.”
-Jimmy Fallon

“Scientists have said they may have figured out a way to travel through time.
For years now I’ve known of a potion that can let you travel through time..
it’s called tequila.” -Craig Ferguson

“Scientists in China say they have found a dolphin they previously thought
was extinct. Scientists say the dolphin is rare, beautiful, and delicious
with hot mustard sauce.” –Conan O’Brien

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s! A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray.
“And what will your third wish be?” The man looked at the genie and said, “Huh? How can I be
getting a third wish when I haven’t had a first or second wish yet?”

“You have had two wishes already,” the genie said, “but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left.” “Okay,” said the man, “I don’t believe this, but what the heck. I’ve always wanted to understand women. I’d love to know what’s going on inside their heads.” “Funny,” said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever, “That was your first wish, too!”😱😁😎

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“0.2… Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son”

Answer: Animal House
The Delta House is the worst on campus and Dean Wormer is looking for any opportunity to get rid of them. Their grade scores are the start of his ammunition, but his ultimate plan is “Secret Double Probation”. Dean Vernon Wormer is played by the late John Vernon and his abovenamed victim, Kent “Flounder” Dorfman by the late Stephen Furst. Directed by John Landis the film also starred John Belushi and Donald Sutherland.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Grace? She passed away 30 years ago!”?

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
Five customers (Candy, Derek, John, Rose, and Steve), order lunch at a fast food restaurant. They order the following things, not in order: Cheeseburger, Salad, Chicken Strips, Hamburger and Fried Fish. Each customer asked for his or her meal to have extra sauce added to it (catsup, mustard, BBQ sauce, mayo or ranch dressing). Can you figure out who got what and in which order they were standing in line?


1) The first customer (who wasn’t a girl) isn’t the one who ordered a salad.
2) The salad did not get BBQ sauce on it.
3) Candy ate chicken for lunch and wasn’t last in line.
4) The person who asked for extra catsup had a cheeseburger.
5) John did not eat the mustard drenched fish.
6) Derek was in the exact middle of the line.
7) Steve was in line after the salad eater but before the mayo lover.

Answer: John was first in line and ordered cheeseburger with extra catsup.
Candy was second and ordered BBQ chicken strips.
Derek was third and had salad with ranch dressing.
Steve was fourth and ate a fish with mustard.
Rose was last in line and ate a hamburger with mayo.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
See if you can figure out three words that are homophones of each other in each of the five problems below.

  1. Worthless – flat piece moving with the air – blood vessel
  2. Path or direction – to measure weight – watery part of milk
  3. Having no money – careful study; microscopic hole – to flow freely
  4. Warty frog – having toes – pulled ahead
  5. A cry – welt; corduroy ridge – large oceanic mammal

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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