Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Job Lingo……….

What The New Job-Lingo Really Means **

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY – We have no time to train you.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE – We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up;
well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED – You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED – Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY – Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL – We have no quality control.

CAREER-MINDED – Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE – We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE – You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST – You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS – You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS – Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Take calculated risks. That is quite
different from being rash.” George S. Patton

“Happiness is nothing more than
good health and a bad memory.” Albert Schweitzer

“Nothing is too small to know, and
nothing is too big to attempt.” William Van Horne

Steven Wright on dogs…
The other day, I was walking my dog
around my building…on the ledge.
Some people are afraid of heights.
Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

I had a dog once. I spilled spot
remover on him, and now he’s gone.

I put contact lenses in my dog’s eyes.
They had little pictures of cats on them.
Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

I bought a dog the other day… I named
him Stay. It’s fun to call him… “Come here,
Stay! Come here, Stay!” He went insane. Now
he just ignores me and keeps typing.
He’s an East German Shepherd.

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s!
A fellow and his wife living in Houston, Texas, where the people are all patriots, were blessed
with the birth of twins, two identical girls. These twins were born on the 4th of July, and the
father, being patriotic, said to his wife, “We will name them Liberty and Justice, after the pledge
of alligence”. His wife said, “Are you nuts? You can’t have girls going through life with names
like Liberty and Justice. We are going to name them regular girl’s names like Mary or Jane”.
Well, the argument went on for about a month, when a compromise was reached. They would
each name one of the girls. The man chose Liberty and the wife picked Elizabeth. As the girls
grew, they were so identical, they kept pulling tricks on people who couldn’t tell them apart.
Finally, when they were about 18, a young man took interest in them. He would take one out
on a date but he was never sure which one he was with. He decided he would marry at least
one of them, but he wasn’t sure which one he would marry. He went to the girls father and
explained his quandry. “I love your daughters and want to marry one of them, but Ican’t tell
them apart, so I will leave it up to you… Give me Liberty or give me Beth.” 😳😁😎

Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“…Chief, you’re about as big as a […] mountain!”

Answer: “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” (1975)
“One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” (1975) is a movie based on the 1962 novel of the same name by Ken Kesey. Both book and movie were critically acclaimed with the movie one of only three movies in the twentieth century to have won the Academy Award Big Five (Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director, Best Movie and Best Screenplay). Whilst the themes remain similar between book and movie, there are some important differences. In the book Chief Bromden is the narrator who watches the antics of Randle McMurphey’s battles against the orderliness and authority of Nurse Ratched, whereas in the movie, Chief Bromden is a secondary (but still important character), who is presumed to be mute and deaf. So when the Chief speaks two-thirds into the movie (“Hmmm, Juicy Fruit”) we the audience are taken by surprise.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“It came to me. My own. My love. My own. My precious.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
In each group below, the three words end in the same three letters, so they look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each group.
Example: plo___, tho___, to___ would be plough, though, tough.

  1. eng___, f___, mar___
  2. c___, car___, s___
  3. ag___, g___, h___

Answer: 1. engine, fine, marine 2. cafe, carafe, safe 3. agave, gave, have

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Dead on the field lie ten soldiers in white,
felled by three eyes, black as night.
What’s going on here?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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