Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY NOVEMBER 16, 2020

How all careers end…

Lawyers are disbarred.

Ministers are defrocked.

Electricians are delighted.

Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented.

Drunks are distilled.

Alpine climbers are dismounted.

Piano tuners are unstrung.

Orchestra leaders are disbanded.

Artists’ models are deposed.

Cooks are deranged.

Dressmakers are unbiased.

Nudists are redressed.

Office clerks are defiled.

Mediums are dispirited.

Programmers are decoded.

Accountants are discredited.

Holy people are disgraced.

Pastry chefs are deserted.

Perfume makers are dissented.

Butterfly collectors are debugged.

Students are degraded.

Electricians are refused.

Bodybuilders are rebuffed.

Underwear models are debriefed

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
MONDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

And remember… Any time you have a 50-50
chance of getting something right, there’s a
90 per cent probability you’ll get it wrong.

I’d had enough of my employees’ abusing their
allotted break time. In an effort to clarify my position,
I posted a sign on the bulletin board: “Starting
immediately, your 15-minute breaks are being
cut from a half-hour to 20 minutes.”

No sooner had I plopped myself in the chair
for my checkup when the dentist smirked,
“Ready for your cavity search?”😏

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s!
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese
restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a
building with the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.” “Hans Olaffsen?”, he muses.
“How in hell does that fit in here?” So he walks into the shop and sees an old
Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, “How did this place
get a name like ‘Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'” The old man answers, “Is name of
owner.” The tourist asks, “Well, who and where is the owner?” “Me…is right here,”
replies the old man. “You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?”
“Is simple,” says the old man. “Many, many year ago when come to this country,
was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede.
Lady look at him and go, ‘What your name?’ He say, ‘Hans Olaffsen.’
Then she look at me and go, ‘What your name?'” “I say Sem Ting.”😳😁😎

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“They call me MR TIBBS!”

Answer: In the Heat of the Night
Poitier plays Detective Virgil Tibbs – a stranger in town, a black man and, worse, a man whose station is higher than the police chief’s in Sparta, Mississippi. Steiger’s bigoted Chief Gillespie’s dislike of Tibbs is palpable and he’s just been put in his place by Tibbs when he looks to take the above cheap shot at him. Tibbs seems to rise to a greater height and puffs his chest out as if to fill the room when he delivers his pointed reply.

Set in a small Mississippi town where the townsfolk seem to have a deep hatred and mistrust of anyone who is an outsider, a black detective and the white local police chief must (grudgingly) work together to solve a rather unusual murder. Directed by Norman Jewison the film would win five Oscars including the coveted Best Picture. “They call me MISTER TIBBS” was listed as number 16 on the American Film Institute’s 100 Years…100 Movie Quotes. In 1970 it would also become the name of the sequel to this picture.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
I have been many things in my life.
To England I traveled during times of strife.

I owned a printing shop and made its periodicals popular.
Many enjoyed my views and called me a philosopher.

I loved inventing and in the field of science I strove.
Some of my inventions were bifocal eyeglasses, the glass harmonica and even a stove.

Many public offices have I held and served long,
Not the least of which, was reorganizing the postal system and making it strong.

Thanks to my love for travel, debates and tendency to chat,
I earned the title of diplomat.

I spent many times in England, that’s a fact.
I defended American rights and fought for repeal of the Stamp Act.

My ability to write and strong belief that all men are created equal caused me to help design
A Declaration of Independence, on which the original I did sign.

Be original, a thinker, give it a try.
Can you figure out my name; who am I?

Answer: The answer, my friend, I say with a grin,
Is none other than Benjamin Franklin.

Benjamin Franklin(1706-1790). He was an American printer, author, economist, diplomat, philosopher, scientist, inventor, and one of America’s greatest statesmen. Benjamin Franklin was known for so many things, but he is best remembered in the United States as a patriot and diplomat.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Let’s get ready for challenge.
I think you know where I am.
Because, as you know, I hold lots of knowledge.
Really, I can lend a helping hand.
Although since people most often come for
Riveting good stories and tales,
You, my friend, can find knowledge in me.
Whether it be history, science, or Braille.
I cannot be held in your hand, you see.
I’m quite a bit larger than that.
So come right in, and let’s begin.
Put on your thinking cap!

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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http://www.slampi.org, https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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