Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY NOVEMBER 3O, 2020

Evaluating progress…….  
A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.
Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.
Active socially: Drinks heavily.
Alert to company developments: An office gossip.
Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.
Average: Not too bright.
Bridge builder: Likes to compromise.
Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the law.
Charismatic: No interest in any opinion but his own.
Competent: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
Conscientious and careful: Scared.
Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.
Consults with supervisor often: Very annoying.
Delegates responsibility effectively: Passes the buck well.
Demonstrates qualities of leadership: Has a loud voice.
Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.
Displays great dexterity and agility: Dodges and evades superiors well.
Enjoys job: Needs more to do.
Excels in sustaining concentration but avoids confrontations: Ignores everyone.
Excels in the effective application of skills: Makes a good cup of coffee.
Exceptionally well qualified: Has committed no major blunders to date.
Expresses self well: Can string two sentences together.
Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike: A coward.  
Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL
MONDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!Peace, I am outta here!  Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” – Henry Winkler

“In the end, everything is a gag.”- Charlie Chaplin

“…when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

“British scientists are now seeking permission to fuse human cells with rabbit eggs. Their goal is to create a human with a lucky foot.” –Jay Leno 

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s!  A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride.
While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head no, and mumble a reply.
Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.
The farmer replied, “The women would say, ‘What a terrible tragedy’ and I would nod my head and say, ‘Yes, it was.’ The men would then ask, ‘Can I borrow that mule?’ and I would shake my head and say, ‘Can’t. It’s all booked up for a year.'”😳😁😎

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”     “Well, there’s something you don’t see every day.”  

Answer:  1984’s “Ghostbusters” The giant Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Created by Gozer to be the “Destructor” from Dr. Ray Stanz’s (Dan Aykroyd) thoughts, Mr. “Stay-Puft” is eventually destroyed by the team’s proton streams. The American Film Institute ranked the film #28 (out of 100) of the best comedy films of all time in 2000. “Ghostbusters” also starred Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver, Ernie Hudson and Rick Moranis. Directed by Ivan Reitman, the film had two Academy Award nominations (Best Visual Effects, Original Song). 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? “You’re not from around here, are you? “

Friday’s Quizzler is….​ Some people believe that January 1, 2000 is the first day of the 21st century. Other people believe that the honor belongs to January 1, 2001. But everyone should agree that January 1, 2002 is the first “sum-day” of the new century- when you write out that date in standard notation, it becomes 01/01/02, and 1+1=2. More generally, a sum-day is a date in which the day and month add up to the year. With that in mind:
A) What is the last sum-day of the 21st century?
B) How many sum-days are there in the 21st century?

Answer:  A) The last sum-day of the 21st century is December 31, 2043, because 12+31=43, and both the month and day are as big as possible.
B) This one is much easier than you might think. The correct answer is 365, because every day in a standard (non-leap) year is part of a sum-day for some year. For example, November 26 is a sum-day for the year 2037, because 11+26=37. The only date for which this principle doesn’t work is the leap day, February 29. That’s because 2+29=31, but 2031 is not a leap year.


Monday’s Quizzler is…….
A steady stream of people enter John’s place of business and remove its treasured belongings. The people do not pay for what they take. John allows them to take as much as they can carry as long as they keep their mouths shut. What are the people taking and which type of business employs John?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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