Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Thinking Out Loud……..

Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder Why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?

Why Isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“We confide in our strength, without boasting of it;
we respect that of others, without fearing it.” Thomas Jefferson

“There are two kinds of light–the glow that
illuminates, and the glare that obscures.” James Thurber

“You have to know how to accept
rejection and reject acceptance.” Ray Bradbury

“A gossip is one who talks to you about others,
a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and
a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to
you about yourself.” -Lisa Kirk

“Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own
short-comings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless,
rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects
in other people’s characters.” –Margaret Halsey

“Since childhood is a time when kids prepare to be grown ups,
I think it makes a lot of sense to completely traumatize your
children. Gets ’em ready for the real world” –George Carlin

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s!
Ever wonder what medical personnel scribble on those clipboards
attached to the foot of the bed? Here are some incredible comments taken from hospital charts:

“The patient refused autopsy.”

“The patient has no previous history of suicides.”

“She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.”

“She is numb from her toes down.”

“Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.”

“Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.” 😱😁😎

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You’re not from around here, are you? “

Answer: 1984’s “Starman”
This is the story of an alien intelligence “invited” to Earth by a Voyager probe (and promptly getting shot down when it gets here). It then takes the form of a recently deceased man and enlists the help of the man’s widow to assist its (his) rescue. Directed by John Carpenter, the film also starred Karen Allen, Charles Martin Smith and Richard Jaeckel. Jeff Bridges received an Oscar nomination for Best Actor.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Juuust a bit outside”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
A steady stream of people enter John’s place of business and remove its treasured belongings. The people do not pay for what they take. John allows them to take as much as they can carry as long as they keep their mouths shut. What are the people taking and which type of business employs John?

Answer: The people are taking books and John works for a library.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
One example of where you will find me,
Is many locations inside of one building.

When I’m new I’m remarkably plain,
But after first use, I’m never the same,
People clean me a lot, but I’m never like new,
The changes come off, but leave residue.

You will have seen me in your early years,
I’m definitely a tool for the eyes, not the ears,
But there is a sound that I can make,
To cause the strongest man to quake.

I feel I should give more of a clue,
But I don’t want to make it too easy for you.

I may have bored you, or enthralled,
But can you tell me what I’m called?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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