Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Old Age……

OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just get played out

OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just go from bar to bar

OLD NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS never die, they just go off-line

OLD NUMERICAL ANALYSTS never die, they just get disarrayed

OLD OWLS never die, they just don’t give a hoot

OLD PACIFISTS never die, they just go to peace’s

OLD PARADOXES never die, they just become enigmas

OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they get sent to the old focus home

OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they just stop developing

OLD PILOTS never die, they just buzz off

OLD PILOTS never die, they just go to a higher plane

OLD PLANETS never die, they just lose their attraction

OLD PLASTIC never dies, they just recycle it

OLD PLUMBERS never die, they just go down the drain

OLD POLICEMEN never die, they just cop out

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL
WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three
thousand miles closer to globular cluster 13 in the constellation
Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist
that there is no such thing as progress.” –Ransom K. Ferm

“The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.” -Paul Valery

“There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers
exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly
disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has
already happened.” -Douglas Adams

“Instant gratification takes too long.” Carrie Fisher

“Anger is never without Reason,
but seldom with a good One.” Benjamin Franklin

“My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous.
The other day she looked at my calendar
and wanted to know who May was.” Rodney Dangerfield

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s!
I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a
stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left
side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right.
The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse
into the stagecoach. Then he opens the door on the other side and
jumps onto the other horse. Just before he rode off, I yelled out,
“What was all that about?” He replied, “Nothing. It’s just a
stage I’m going through.” 😱😁😎

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Juuust a bit outside”

Answer: “Major League”
Actually, the pitch was quite a bit ‘outside’ (almost 10 feet?). Uecker (“Mr. Baseball”, according to Johnny Carson) almost steals the show as the enthusiastic yet sarcastic Harry Doyle in this great comedy centered around the Cleveland Indians. Directed by David S. Ward, “Major League” also starred Tom Berenger, Corbin Bernsen, Wesley Snipes and Rene Russo. An interesting note: The only award nomination the film received was for “Best Foreign Language Film” from the “Award of the Japanese Academy”. Sadly, it didn’t win this obviously prestigious honor.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
One example of where you will find me,
Is many locations inside of one building.

When I’m new I’m remarkably plain,
But after first use, I’m never the same,
People clean me a lot, but I’m never like new,
The changes come off, but leave residue.

You will have seen me in your early years,
I’m definitely a tool for the eyes, not the ears,
But there is a sound that I can make,
To cause the strongest man to quake.

I feel I should give more of a clue,
But I don’t want to make it too easy for you.

I may have bored you, or enthralled,
But can you tell me what I’m called?

Answer: A chalkboard (or blackboard)

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Emperor Akbar once ruled over India. He was a wise and intelligent ruler, and he had in his court the Nine Gems, his nine advisors, who were each known for a particular skill. One of these Gems was Birbal, known for his wit and wisdom. The story below is one of the examples of his wit. Do you have it in you to find out the answer?

Once Emperor Akbar ordered a horse to be delivered to Birbal so that he could easily move about the kingdom.

The stable-keeper however, was extremely jealous of Birbal, and decided to deliver a sick and weak horse to him. The horse was delivered to Birbal’s stable. The next morning, when Birbal went to proudly leave his house on a horse, he found the horse was dead. Looking at the weak and frail horse, he understood what must have happened. However he could not insult the Emperor or his gift, so he kept silent.

Unfortunately for him, the Emperor observed him entering the palace grounds on foot and, when he entered the court, the Emperor immediately questioned him about the horse.

What was Birbal’s diplomatic and accurate reply?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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