Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY DECEMBER 4, 2020

Weekend Punagraphy…….

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If you’re born again, do you have two bellybuttons?

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

What happens when none of your bees wax?

Where are we going? And what’s with this handbasket?

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

There are three stages of man: he believes
in Santa Claus; he does not believe in
Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. Bob Phillips

There are two types of people in this world:
good and bad. The good sleep better, but
the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours
much more. Woody Allen

There are worse things in life than death.
If you’re ever spent an evening with an
insurance salesman, you know exactly
what I mean. Woody Allen

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s!
Flash – New Weapon in America’s Arsenal – Dubbed ‘The Chicken Gun’ Senate majority
leader Howard H. Baker Jr., expressed astonishment to the Senate, over recent news
accounts of an Air Force “chicken gun. “It seems the gun is a converted 20-foot cannon
capable of hurling dead four-pound chickens at airplanes at 700 miles per hour … The
armament is used to help find ways to reduce accidents caused by jets hitting birds.
“My first reaction to this story was one of bitterness,” Baker told colleagues. “I wonder
why a ‘special classified briefing’ had not been set up for members of Congress on the
new chicken gun and I wondered if Secretary of Defense was planning one.” Baker also
wondered aloud “how far along the Soviet Union is with the deployment of their ‘chicken gun’,
and how will our Minuteman, Midgetman and Sparrow missiles get along with this new weapon…”
Baker went on to wonder if the Navy might be working on its own version of ‘the chicken gun’,
“which would be, one assumes, a ‘chicken of the sea’.” Baker congratulated the Air Force “on
its resourcefulness.” “Despite the fact that there will no doubt be those that will be skeptical
of such research, I for one, see nothing more involved than a little ‘fowl’ play,” Baker replied…😳😁😎

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Houston, we have a problem.”

Answer: Tom Hanks, “Apollo 13”
Quite possibly one of the most recognizable movie taglines, the movie quote is actually misquoted from the real Apollo 13/Houston Control transmissions during the incident. After the explosion that occurred on the service module section of the spacecraft, Command Module pilot John Swigert Jr. (played by Kevin Bacon in the film) reported back to Mission Control “Okay, Houston, we’ve had a problem here.” After the “say again” response from Houston, Mission Commander James Lovell then stated “Houston, we’ve had a problem.”. Directed by Ron Howard and released in 1995, the film also starred Bill Paxton, Gary Sinise and Ed Harris. Nominated for nine Academy Awards (including Best Picture) in 1996, “Apollo 13” won Oscars for Best Sound and Best Film Editing.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first.
You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
For each of the pairs of words below, insert a word in the blank space between them to form two separate words such that the inserted word finishes the first word and begins the second. For example, given “MAN __ ON”, you would insert the word “GO” to form “MANGO” and “GOON”. The hint gives the number of letters in each of the words that must be inserted.

BOW _ AGE GENE KING
LAND GOAT DIG SELF
PAR ___
ATE

Answer: LINE (bowline, lineage)
TIC (genetic, ticking)
SCAPE (landscape, scapegoat)
IT (digit, itself)
ROT (parrot, rotate) or DON (pardon, donate)

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Homer had suffered a bizarre accident that affected his eyesight. The doctor said it would be temporary, but for the next 4 weeks, he had to adjust how he did some things. The accident had affected his focal length. He was only able to focus on objects that were 6 or more feet away from him, anything closer than 6 feet was just a blur.

Homer was used to shaving up close in front of his bathroom mirror. Now after the accident, how close could Homer get to the mirror to see his face clearly enough to shave?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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