Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY DECEMBER 7, 2020

Here’s the story…
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached; the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time,
took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!” “No, I’m sorry,” replied the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri, doc.”😁😎

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
MONDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Bob: “Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.”
Peter: “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.”
—Bob (Paul Wilson) and Peter (Ron Livingston), Office Space

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have
little or no influence in society.”
—Mark Twain

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them
use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”
—Will Ferrell

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one
special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
—Rita Rudner

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s!
King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with
the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most
valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the
pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, “I’ll give you 100,000 dinars for it.”
“But I paid a million dinars for it,” the King protested. “Don’t you know who I am? I am the king!”
Croesus replied, “When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are.”😱😁😎

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first.
You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!”

Answer: “Bull Durham”
This scene is my personal favorite of the entire film, although it would be difficult for me to explain why. Probably due to Wuhl’s wonderfully deadpan style, but who knows? “Sports Illustrated” listed “Bull Durham” as the ‘Greatest Sports Movie’ in 2003; in 2008 it ranked #5 in AFI’s top ten sports films. The film was directed by Ron Shelton, who played minor-league ball during his early 20s and tapped in on his experiences while writing the script. “Bull Durham” starred Kevin Costner (whose character, Crash Davis, was modeled after William Holden’s Pike Bishop character in “The Wild Bunch”) and real-life couple Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon (who first met during filming).

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Homer had suffered a bizarre accident that affected his eyesight. The doctor said it would be temporary, but for the next 4 weeks, he had to adjust how he did some things. The accident had affected his focal length. He was only able to focus on objects that were 6 or more feet away from him, anything closer than 6 feet was just a blur.

Homer was used to shaving up close in front of his bathroom mirror. Now after the accident, how close could Homer get to the mirror to see his face clearly enough to shave?

Answer: 3 feet
Your focal length in a mirror is your distance away from the mirror, plus the distance of the object away from the mirror. When you look at an object in a mirror, you are seeing a virtual image the exact distance it is away from the mirror. So, if you are standing 3 feet away from a mirror, and focus on your face, you are actually focusing at 6 feet. To try this out, put a piece of tape on a mirror, about eye level. Standing in front of the mirror, focus your eyes on the tape, now your face is out of focus. Focus now on your face, and the tape is out of focus.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
A blind man drives up to a house, gets out of the car and goes up to the door with a package. The homeowner takes the package and gives the blind man a check. The blind man then drives away. What was in the package?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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