Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.   

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY
TUESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!Peace, I am outta here!  Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y  

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. ~Tom Stoppard

At my age “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for. ~Author Unknown

I don’t do drink or drugs. At my age I get the same effect just standing up too fast. ~Author Unknown

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese. ~Luis Buñuel

Middle age is when a guy starts turning off lights for economic rather than romantic reasons. ~Eli Cass

I don’t let my age define me but the side-effects are getting harder to ignore. ~Author Unknown

Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. ~Benjamin Franklin

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age. ~Victor Hugo 😎

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s! A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writer’s cramp.😱😁😎

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”      “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

Answer: “The Wizard of Oz”.  Simply put, “The Wizard of Oz” is considered to be one of the most beloved and popular films in history, and quite possibly the most watched, especially after it began to air yearly on television after 1959. Directed by Victor Fleming and released in 1939, the film also starred Ray Bolger (Scarecrow), Jack Haley (Tin Man), Bert Lahr (Cowardly Lion), Margaret Hamilton (Wicked Witch of the West), and Frank Morgan as the Wizard. Nominated for six Oscars, the film won for Best Original Song and Original Score. “Over The Rainbow” was ranked as the number one movie song of all time by the American Film Institute in 2004. Other AFI rankings include number six (out of 100) for best film (1998), #3 for musicals (2006), #1 (out of ten) fantasy film (2008), and #4 villain (Wicked Witch of the West, 2003).

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???? “He chose. Poorly.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​ A blind man drives up to a house, gets out of the car and goes up to the door with a package. The homeowner takes the package and gives the blind man a check. The blind man then drives away. What was in the package?
The people bought blinds and the blind man delivered them. 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……. Assuming you can’t steal an animal’s sense of hearing, or use an electrical device, what would you need in order to hear a pin drop from over 20 yards?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.

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