Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

Here’s the story… The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.Saint Peter says, “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven.”
Forrest responds, “It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain’t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.”
Saint Peter goes on, “Yes, I know Forrest. But, the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is God’s first name?”
Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.
Saint Peter waves him up and asks, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.”
Forrest says, “Well, the first one, -how many days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’?” “Shucks, that one’s easy; that’d be Today and Tomorrow!”
The saint’s eyes open wide and he exclaims, “Forrest! That’s not what I was thinking, but … you do have a point though, and I guess I didn’t specify, so I give you credit for that answer.”
“How about the next one” says Saint Peter, “how many seconds in a year?”
“Now that one’s harder,” says Forrest. “But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.”
Astounded, Saint Peter says, “Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?”
Forrest says, “Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second….”
“Hold it,” interrupts Saint Peter. “I see where you’re going with it.”
“And I guess I see your point, though that wasn’t quite what I had in mind.
I’ll give you credit for that one too.”
“Let’s go on with the next and final question,” says Saint Peter, “Can you tell me God’s first name?”
Forest says, “Well shore, I know God’s first name. Everybody probly knows It’s Howard.”
“Howard?” asks Saint Peter. “What makes you think it’s ‘Howard’?”
Forest answers, “It’s in the prayer.”
“The prayer?” asks Saint Peter, “Which prayer?”
“The Lord’s Prayer,” responds Forest: “Our Father, Who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name…”😳😎

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!Peace, I am outta here!  Eucman!  

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y   We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. ~George Bernard Shaw

Age is not how old you are but how many years of fun you’ve had. ~Matt Maldre

I’ve reached the age where my brain went from “You probably shouldn’t say that” to “What the hell, let’s see what happens.” ~Author Unknown

Don’t let ageing get you down. It’s too hard to get back up. ~John Wagner

Age is just a number that changes depending on who’s asking. ~Author Unknown

Old age is always ten years older than me. ~Author Unknown

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you’ll ever be again. ~Author Unknown  

G u a r a n t e e d   t o   R o l l  Y o u r   E y e s! Back in the 1800’s the Tate’s Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression — “He who has a Tate’s is lost!” 😁😎

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”      “He chose. Poorly.”
Answer:  “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”The third film of the series, “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” teams Indy (Harrison Ford) with his father, Dr. Henry Jones (Sean Connery) on a quest to find the Holy Grail. The above line was spoken by the immortal guardian of the Grail (the last remaining Knight of the Crusades, played by Robert Eddison) after ‘Bad Guy’ Walter Donovan (Julian Glover) drinks from the wrong chalice, rapidly ages, then turns to dust. River Phoenix played the young Indiana in the beginning of the film, which finally explained why Indy wears that beat-up fedora. Directed by Steven Spielberg and released in 1989, the film also starred John Rhys-Davies, Denholm Elliott and Alison Doody. Nominated for three Oscars in 1990, “The Last Crusade” won for Best Sound Effects Editing.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????“On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​ Assuming you can’t steal an animal’s sense of hearing, or use an electrical device, what would you need in order to hear a pin drop from over 20 yards?
A bowling ball. 

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….For each of the following fill in the best answer to the saying or definition on a separate sheet of paper. The # of blanks are given in or after the clue. After, repeat the small answers (in order) until you get the larger word. For the clues that refer to the alphabet, pronounce the letter as it is pronounced in the alphabet. You might have to repeat the smaller words over and over again to get the larger word. An example is given below.
A) expert: _ _ _B) devoted churchwoman : _ _ _C) 3rd in the alphabet: _D) # after seven: _ _ _ _ _E) to avoid: _ _ _ _
Answer: pro-nun-c-eight-shun Pronunciation
Try the following.
1) a) upper limb: _ _ _b) 1st in alphabet: _c) TV show :”Let’s Make a _ _ _ _”d) 15th in alphabet: _
2)a) feed in past tense: _ _ _b) possessive form of she: _ _ _c) a small, rounded portion of bread: _ _ _ _
3)a) miles _ _ _ hourb) agent paid to obtain secret information: _ _ _c) body part used to hear: _ _ _
4)a) aquatic animal associated with a beach ball: _ _ _ _b) 1st in alphabet: _c) edible ice cream holder: _ _ _ _
5)a) opposite of down: _ _b) a _ _ _ _ of socksc) _ _ _ _ the movie instead of buying it
6)a) a convict: _ _ _b) to lie is a deadly _ _ _c) receptacle used for serving/holding dishes and meals: _ _ _ _d) to ignore or snub: _ _ _ _

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at, WEBSITE LINKS:, THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.


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