Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY DECEMBER 11, 2020

Bumper stickers……..

“Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately, it kills all its students!”

“According to my calculations the problem doesn’t exist.”

“Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.”

“How Can I Miss You if You Won’t Go Away?”

“Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.”

“Give me ambiguity or give me something else.”

BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

All men are idiots….I married their king.

IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

Out of my mind…Back in five minutes.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Hey I’m just saying. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT
WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up!
Peace, I am outta here! Eucman!

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

I plan on living forever. So
far, so good. Author Unknown

Love your enemies. It makes
them so darned mad. P.D. East

As to the Seven Deadly Sins, I deplore
Pride, Wrath, Lust, Envy and Greed. Gluttony
and Sloth I pretty much plan my day around. Robert Brault.

There’s no such thing as fun for
the whole family. Jerry Seinfeld

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in
God’s mind – a pretty uncomfortable thought,
particularly if you’ve just made a down
payment on a house. Woody Allen

G u a r a n t e e d t o R o l l Y o u r E y e s!
A man standing in line at a checkout counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a
very attractive woman behind him said, “Hello!” Her face was beaming. He gave her that
“who are you look,” and couldn’t remember ever having seen her before. Then, noticing
his look, she figured she had made a mistake and apologized.

“Look,” she said “I’m really sorry but when I first saw you, I thought you were the father
of one of my children,” and walked out of the store.

The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, “What is the world coming to? Here
is an attractive woman who can’t keep track of who fathers her children!”

Then he got a little panicky. “I don’t remember her,” he thought, but MAYBE. During one
of the fraternity parties, he had been to when he was in college, perhaps he did father her child!
He ran from the store and caught her in the parking lot and asked, “Are you the girl I met
at a party in college and then we had a little too much to drink and spent the night together
but I never called you again afterward?” “No”, she said with a horrified look on her face.
“I’m your son’s Sunday School teacher.” 😱😳😁😎

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.”

Answer: 1975’s “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”
As a true “Python” fanatic, this is one of my favorite films of all time, and I feel it is a travesty beyond comprehension that it never received any Acadamy Award wins, or even nominations! Oh well. Some mysteries of life can never be explained. If perchance you are partial to all things “Python”, go see the Broadway musical “Spamalot”, which is based (or “lovingly ripped off from”) the film. Excellent adaptation! Along with Chapman, the film starred (and was written by) John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin and Terry Jones. Gilliam and Jones also shared directing credits.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from????
“I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home… only to no home I’d ever known… I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like… magic.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
For each of the following fill in the best answer to the saying or definition on a separate sheet of paper. The # of blanks are given in or after the clue. After, repeat the small answers (in order) until you get the larger word. For the clues that refer to the alphabet, pronounce the letter as it is pronounced in the alphabet. You might have to repeat the smaller words over and over again to get the larger word. An example is given below.

Example:

A) expert: _ _ _
B) devoted churchwoman : _ _ _
C) 3rd in the alphabet: _
D) # after seven: _ _ _ _ _
E) to avoid: _ _ _ _

Answer:
pro-nun-c-eight-shun
Pronunciation

Try the following.

1) a) upper limb: _ _ _
b) 1st in alphabet: _
c) TV show :”Let’s Make a _ _ _ ” d) 15th in alphabet:

2)
a) feed in past tense: _ _ _
b) possessive form of she: _ _ _
c) a small, rounded portion of bread: _ _ _ _

3)
a) miles _ _ _ hour
b) agent paid to obtain secret information: _ _ _
c) body part used to hear: _ _ _

4)
a) aquatic animal associated with a beach ball: _ _ _ _
b) 1st in alphabet: _
c) edible ice cream holder: _ _ _ _

5)
a) opposite of down: _ _
b) a _ _ _ _ of socks
c) _ _ _ _ the movie instead of buying it

6)
a) a convict: _ _ _
b) to lie is a deadly _ _ _
c) receptacle used for serving/holding dishes and meals: _ _ _ _
d) to ignore or snub: _ _ _ _

Answer: 1) armadillo (arm-a-deal-o)
2) federal (fed-her-roll)
3) perspire (per-spy-ear)
4) silicone (seal-a-cone)
5) apparent (up-pair-rent)
6) concentration (con-sin-tray-shun)

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Below is a (very) short story with 10 capitalized words or phrases which are anagrams of words that all fit in a certain category. Can you find the anagrams and determine the category?

NOTE: One of the answers contains two words.

A recently PAROLED man named Ari was going to ROB A PEARL boat of all of its FIG FARE. The boat was just off of the SHORE. He put on his BALM and donned his TOGA to SNEAK aboard. ARI GOT ALL of the NEAT HELP he needed from a safety pin that kept his toga IN PLACE.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS, Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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https://elisabethluxe.com, http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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